I hate going to the movies on Wednesday

I know any psycologist would say is just another of my sociopath behavior. But why the hell did they invited me to go to the movies on a Wednesday.
With that thing of it being supposedly cheaper (In mexico the ticket is half price on wednesdays), movie theaters are more crowded that anything. You can´t giv e two steps without almost bumping into someone.
And you find all kind of rare human species.
The lady with like thre hundred kids, and she is unable to control them, yet she manages to buy a Jumbo size soda to each one of the. And all too big for them, they are spilling soda all the way to their seats.
Or the guy who hasn´t take a bath like in three days, but put like 3 bottles of perfume on top, yiak the worst of smells, and to his arm, his girlfriend with cellulitis and bigger belly than a sumo wrestler, scaring averyone, while using a tight gym outfit.
Or the tree teens, all the time talking on their mobille phones, most probably withim themselves.
Or the elderly couple, who when you see them make you say "Oh so cute", but when they are walking ahead of you slower than a giant turtle, and thousands of people are closing distance behind you, the horror.

And yet, my movie companions says, "But if this is the beauty of going to the movies, to share the exciment and laughter of it with all this people around us".

The greatest horror, that is.

what if the monster gets out of control??

What if Jessica, gets too much confidence in herself, that start showwing off or going out, being less worried, to the point she starts making mistakes.

Just see the blog lately, I finally managed to post the first pics, of clean face. Then do a little hiding game for a week, and Kabooom, lots of pics of me showing my face after that. Even some from before that I have decided where not good enough.

Is Jessica being thoughtless and careless of the consequences.

Will the same happens, if she ever decides to go out?

I just don´t know.

Kisses
Jessica

P.S. On image, I can´t distinguish the pic were I wear nylons/stockings (not the white ones) and the one with barelegs. Can you??

Now it´s both hands

well, I was trying to make the crazy hand (the one who likes so much to cover my face) to be more like the nice hand.

Wrong, idea, now both hands like to cover my face.

Guess, my hands are not ready to let the world see Jessica's Face.

-kisses
Tired Jessica

a See my Pic post

I tell truth.
Had nothing to write, just wanted to show a pic of the pink dress with more proper shoes.

Kisses
Stupid Jessica

Just unbelievable.

While going through my usual news reading, I found an article about this "New Patent on TV Forces You to Watch Ads" telling some company has filed for a patent of a device that would not allow to change channels while ads are on.

So they want to take freedom away from watching TV, and force me to see the commercials, what will they do next, invent somthing that will avoid me going outside the room or closing my eyes.

It´s like what they do in movies here in Mexico. You go to movies, and before the movie starts, you got to suffer 10 minutes of ads. And you paid for seeing a movie, not ads. So now there only thing you can do is ignore them and close your eyes or going into the movie late risking a bad seat place.

And now they plan to do something similar, if not worst on TV.
I can't beleive how greedy, those people are.

Well, there is actually a worst scenario, that they invented a devicem that forces to see the crap mexican tv has.

The article is here

Have a nice weekend
Jessica


P.S. About the pic, Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaines shows she dances extraweird, well I think my pose is even weirder in this pic

Another historical post

I noticed it’s been since February since I wrote about the past, In a way it is good, since that means, at the moment, the present as Jessica was more interesting (or so I think) than past tales.
But one of the points of writing this blog was to write how I went from the regular kid, to become Jessica (that sounds funny), so it’s time to get the memories back. If this is boring for you, then return tomorrow, when perhaps I post something different.

So last time, I talked you about my first skirt, well with time I managed to get a couple of more items of girl clothing. A white blouse, my mom threw away since it had a stain, a pair of broke pantyhose, and a camisole. But first being old clothes I looked like a poor abandoned girl, and most of the time when left home alone, I just preferred to look for something else. So soon it became useless to have them.

Then came one of the “I’m not doing it anymore” phases. What caused? A girlfriend. In a way it felt completely wrong, to want to dress up, when I was going out with a girl. Since girls don’t date girls (that’s what I was thought, no longer my thinking) Plus the guilt feeling of doing something against what was normally accepted, or just being a freak. That was a troublesome decision. So for a few years, it disappeared completely.

What brought my femm side back?, opportunity, plain and simple I was again home alone, and that time the complete 24 hours per day, 7 days a week.
What happened was that my family needed to move to another city, for Dad’s job. But I was at College/University by that time, so it was clear I could not move. So the decision was, I stayed at home, while I finished school. They weren’t selling the house anyway.

So there I was one day, looking for something among the boxes my family left at home. When in one of the boxes I found a knee length green skirt. And as I saw it, the thought just appeared in my head again “Wear it, its ok, just wear it”. And there I went, to put the skirt on. It felt so great, to do it again after a few years of denying it. My brain then went crazy, I ended opening as many boxes needed until I completed a girly outfit. I don’t even remember if I found what I was looking for, I’m pretty sure, I even stop looking for it. But I do remember the outfit. The green skirt, a light blue blouse, black panties, and a pair of flat shoes (the only ones left) I spent the rest of the day dressed like that. It felt so great that by the end of day, instead of returning the clothes to their boxes, I just hanged them with my regular boy ones.

And so the dressing game returned, but that time, there was no rushing, no being worried about my parents returning before time and seeing me. I was free in a way to dress up, as much as my free time allowed me. Maybe not as much, since I still had some issues with it, especially the feeling of doing something that was wrong and evil.

It will continue….

Jessica
In the pic I look like angry, trust me I was not :)

A silly post

I just found yesterday, that it hurts when you fell off the bed while sleeping.

Ouch.

:(

They are coming, and I am scared.

The pic above is from a really nice tradition of my hometown. On easter time, very religious stuff.
Lots of tourist and locals really enjoy watching this.

But there is another side of the story here. The part when I see them coming, and I got really scared.

Why?? Well when you grow up hearing stories of the bible of an angry God, the one who killed innocent kids, the one who sent his son to suffer and die. But above all , the God that is looking everything you do in everysecond in your life, to record every sin, every bad tought, every bad behaivior, so by the time you die, He has all the necesary info to deny you the entrance to heaven, and sent you to eternal pain and suffering in Hell. You end up a really scared kid.
And then you see this, People walking in complete silence, while covering their faces, whit chains at theirs feet, or hitting themselves at the back with whips, or carrying those really heavy religious figures. Your fear grows.
Next you hear your family tell you, "Don't do that, God is seeing you" or "Bad kid, God will punish you".
Or at the church, the priest always saying "Be affraid of God's wrath".
I still can't beleive I made it trough life, with all those scary stuff being told to me almost every day.

And then people ask me why I like horror movies so much. Why I am not scared of such horrible monsters.
Well it's really simple, How can you be scared of a vampire, a werewolf , a zombie, when you compare them to God´s wrath and an eternity in Hell with pain and suffering.

Bah, they do not look that scary, plus you can kill those monsters with human means (a silver bullet, holy water, etc), while on the other hand scaping from God, thats impossible, or so I was taught.

Fortunately for me, with time I started thinking different.
Yet sometimes I got scared. What if they find Jessica´s real identity, Will they come to take me apart from the ones I love, to excommunicate me from church, to condemn me for eternal suffering.
Such are my nightmares, and the images are like the pic and worst.

I better stop, for sure you are bored by now, and if I continue writting I might cry.

Scared
Jessica

Nice Sunset

So I was out a few days for Hollyweek, Easter.
Had a great time with family, got really busy.

Now, me needs to go back into work mode.
But how, when such sunset invites me to go out early and just relax.


Kisses
Jessica

Image composed by Lizbeth

So, my friend Lizbeth made this image of we both girls holding hands.

I am tottally impressed of her work with the images, plus its really stylish. In short, I just love the image.

On other matter, I wonder.

Does the image bring thoughts of two nice innocents girls holding hands to face the fears of the world together.
Or maybe, more of a seductive pair of girls, holding hands in a way to raise wild images on the eyes of the viewer.

Yes I know, I went to the opposite extreme.

:)
Kisses
Jessica

Need to change Background

Ok.

I definitively need to change the background on the pics.
Otherwise I will become as Jessica, the girl with pics in a light green bed-clothing, and rags of purple clothing as curtains.
Not to mention the Purple pillow, the white walls.

It will become so normal, that when I took a pic in a different place, then it will be like , "MM, its not her usual place, either its fake or she did something stupid".

So guess I need to redecorate the background.
Maybe some real curtains, or use a chair instead of bed, perhaps a painting in the wall.

The little voice in the back of my head sas , "Yeah sure, Jessica, like if anyone is going to beleive your post is really about background, you just wanted to show off your pic"

Oh, shhhh, little voice. See, now all my ideas for new decoration are gone.

Well hopefully after easter I can come up with a plan for it.

Till then
Kisses
Jessica

A crazy hand

See, the crazy hand, is back.
My hand just like to cover my face.
I can't control her, or can I???

2 pics for the price of 1

No, I´m not selling anything, just that there are two pics in one post.
Actually, just wanted to post them, before I started thinking, and then i went into the paranoia again.

For Toefans, feetfans, painted nails fans.

Well actually I just wanted to show off the new shoes.
Kisses
Jessica

Need to decide

Hi
Yes I know I promise to try to post something less superficial than just pics of me.
But its Monday, so brain is still sleeping. Maybe tomorrow

Anyway
Tried with the blonde wig again, still the looks of it don´t feel right to me.
So I decide to put shots side by side, to see if that helped.

Well from the back, both look ok.
I love how the blonde one is longer
BUT, the dark brown has more style.

well, guess I need another side-by-side shot, but facing the camera.
But, mondays are also not a day when I´m brave. so maybe other day.

Kisses
Jessica

Weekend Post

I was reading my blog, and seems like lately all my post are, Hey, look at my photos, look at me.

I apologize to everyone, really, I know I´m not that superficial/shallow. Or so I like to think about me.

So now, to compensate, I´m going to put a very long boring deep phylosofical post.

Of the non-evident meta-existence of the paradogical Jessica.

So we start by defining a basic axioma " 2 is a pair number"
Then I propose a theory "Jessica is real"

So now, its a matter of by using silogism, deduction, induction and all those fancy wordy thinking metods, to prove if my theory is not false.

So starting with a complex asociation of terms, we can say "That reality is perceived by the senses" and that

Memory Overload... Need to restart

Oh, seems my brain couldn't handle that much thinking.
Seems I can not reallly make much of a philosopher.
Well, maybe its for the best, what if my theory turned out to be false.

So guees, I better stay here contemplating the beautifull flowers.

Kisses
Jessica

Will it be safe to venture out again???

Lady Jessica, seems the coast is free, no enemies at sight, all pirates have run away to the might of our cannons.

Do you really think so-, captain Paranoia, -is it really safe to venture again and show me to the world of internet.

Well, to tell you the truth, safe, completely safe, it is not. but look for yourself mylady, the coast line looks calm and no enemies on the horizon.

Ok, I´ll give it a try, but set the cannons ready, and don´t hesitate to shoot , you got my permission to kill.

Shoe shopping, a little embarrasing experience

Well last weekend , since I was out of town, I thought. "Hey Jessica, it`s going to be easier, to shop shoes here, since nobody knows you"
SoI look through several shoe stores.
But problem number one.
Here in the south of the country people are shorter, especially women. So the bigger shoe size was 1 size smaller than the ones that kind of fit me.
Well, I thought lets risk it, worst thing they don`t fit. And some model weren`t expensive.

So there I go into the shoestore. And tell the saleslady, "Hi, I want to buy some shoes", so sheask "Show me which ones", and start walking towards the display area, but to the male shoes area, so I have to quickly tell her, "mm, its over here", At that point she went ok, but a lady over there look at us with a strange look.

So I guide her, and she asks "what size", and as soon as I said the "6.5" she turns her head to look at me in a little surprised way, I just thought it was for being a little uncommon for anyone, even women for ask that size.

So she goes behind the counter, and upstairs to look for the shoes, meanwhile I wait her by the counter, without sitting down to wait. She arrives, and hands me one shoe and extend her arm as if telling me to go to the seatting area, (my guess she was still hopping I was taking the shoe to someone else).

But when I told her, "Can you bring the other one and the box", then she gave me the most terryfing look, then she went over the counter, looked down to my feet area, and went inside to bring the box. (at that point I wanted to become invisible).
She returned, I looked the shoes for a few secs, and then told her I was buying. Paid and went out.

I`m sure she must have alredy forget it, but for me, that shopping, was a really embarrassing one.

Kisses
Jessica

Oh, the shoes do fit me, but only for pic purposes, they don`t fit me well enough to walk.

My Friend Princess Lilly

Hello

Today I want to introduce you to a dear Friend Princess Lilly
I wrote her an email a few months ago, in the times all my pics were headless. Well she was really nice on answering them. Plus she gave me a few tips on make-up that really have helped me a lot.
Since then she has been very kind to keep writting to me on email.
She is from India, on the other side of the world from Mexico

Viset her webpage
Visit Princess Lilly's Secret Garden :

http://www.geocities.com/princesslilly2006

She is a real cute girl.

Hope one day I can save enough money to visit her, so she can teach me how to wear a saree

Cave Exploring

So, during weekend went traveling. One of the places I visited was a place called "Grutas de Xtamcumbilxuna'an", a really cool cave. Plus, since I arrived really early, I got to explore it with only the basic lighting while they turned the light system on. At some points I had to take a flash photo, look at the camera, and then walk sure that I will not fall into a hole.

But this picture also is good for this post, Why, because after las week crazy idea of posting pictures with my face. I now have a need to go back into the darkness, to go into the cave, and wait until my courage is restored, until this paranoia dissapears.

In the meantime, Jessica is going to be hidding, in the dark, deep in those caves, away from the eyes of the world.

My Friend Lizbeth

I want you all to meet a friend of mine, I met via Messenger.
She is extremely pretty, WOOOW, just looking at her pics, makes me green of envy.
Plus she likes watching suspense-horror movies.

And a few days ago she decided to start her blog
Give her a Visit (It's in spanish, so get the translator ready)

Here is the link to her site "There's something about Lizbeth"