Draw of Jessica made by Zully

A friend named Zully made this drawing of me, of course with a little changes to enhance feminity.
Can you guess the image t was based on??

Thanks a lot to Zully
She made a superb, amazing drawing
Kisses

This weekend Mayan Trip

This weekend I travel to a Mayan site, called Palenque.
Lots of Pyramids, really big place.
Unfortunately the main Pyramid, the one with the tomb was closed, so only got to see the replica at the museum.
Lots of walking, lots of climbing plus the hot weather can get you tired really quickly.
Ended up all tired and legs are exhausted.
Really cool thing, is that it is located near the jungle, being able to hear all the birds and monkeys so close was great.
Bad thing, the mosquitoes got several bites on legs and arms.
Next day went to see the waterfalls, wow they sure are impressive.
Went swimming there.
Then driving 4 to 5 hours, I ended up all tired
But fun weekend.

Kisses
Jessica

Sent to me

A weird pose pic.

And admirer sent me this

J amas en el recio universo
E ncontrar crei, a un angel androgino,
S i bien la travesia del mismo
S e tornaba ya desesperante, aun
I ncluso la desesperanza llego,mas
C uando todo perdido parecia
A ti,mi dulce musa encontre en el firmamento

by Dragon Rojo
If I translate to English, it lost the letters

Another historical post

Wow, again so much time has passed between historical posts (jeje, better come out with a better name, this one sounds and reminds me of the boring school subject)

Well as I was telling in my last past post, I have returned to this dressing activity, and one might think that having a house alone would bring more opportunities to do it, make it easier. But that was not completely true, since I still had too many conflicts in my mind about it.

But this time, there was something that helped me. By that time, I have found about a thing called Internet. You go into it, look about a subject, and Voila, hundreds of pages with info about it.

Well all confused, I decided to look information on the subject of my dressing. The first problem was "What to look for?" by that time didn't know the terminology related to the subject (and as of today I still don't get the difference between all those t-something labels) but I started writing whatever come to mind. On one of those searches I found a page (unfortunately I don't remember the page) but the thing was that it contained the words transvestite y crossdressing and kind of what they meant, so at least I knew what to search for.

So I went searching for those words, but the only results I got where for previews of porn sites. Yes the girls on the pics look amazing, all femenine except for that detail that most of the time was with blur or semiconcealed, so might not even be sure was not a composed image. That instead of helping me, made me feel worst. Yes the looked great, but from that th e only explanation that come to mind about this dressing thing, was that apparently the option was to become like some kind of visual object that appears on porn sites, and that was not something that I thought of.

I was about to give up when a webpage came out, of a person who looked like more real, a girl from Hungary by the name Hajnalka, actually at first look of her pics, I was thinking, hey thats a genetic girl, and a pretty one. But after looking with more atention and reading her page find out it was someone like me, with this interest in dressing with girl clothes, and she managed to acheive that in such a wonderful and perfect way. Wow amazing, that put me dreaming in that maybe sometime in the future I might be able to do something similar to that (and I am still dreaming about it)

The best thing was that she had links to pages to other girls, some of them real beauty godesses, other less experienced but with that touch of feminity, And some of the girls pages, told their histories, some very similar to mine, Some even had a large amount on information, about the why, the how, why is it a normal thing, why is not always something to do with sexual behavior. Lots of information that little by little helped me to kind of understand more this liking of me.

I stop the story here, next time I will write about my first run into the internet, and why I choosed the name Jessica.

Bye by now
Kisses
Jessica

Showing too much skin

Wearing the mini blue outfit.
Guess I am looking to draw attention
How vain am I?

The pic is small, yes I know I posted that way on purpose

Kisses
Jessica

A chronicle a little too late

Due to me being too busy, and probably a little lazy to write, here is a late chronicle of one of Jessica´s crazy adventures.
So the weekend from two weeks ago, I decided to risk my secret identity once more.
This time, was a girl, who lives in the same place I live.
As usual I was nervous from the moment I decided to say "Ok, let's meet"

So we met in an open area near my place (in case I decided to run away).
We then went ono to my place, and me being all nervous took a few minutes before saying "ok, lets start getting all dressed"
Each of us , changed in one of the rooms of my place.
Then saw each other dressed up. She had a great feminine figure (I felt envy, guess I need to put extra effort to loose some weight)
We then chatted a little, but soon it become more of me asking her lots of questions, she being lot more experienced in this than me.
We then took a couple of pics, but she needed to go somewhere, and time to say bye.

I stayed a few more hours dressed, reading and listening some music, before I got hungry.
So out goes the pretty clothes and makeup, and out to lunch.

So ends the chronicle.
Pic is the outfit I used.

Hugs
Jessica

Thinking or Dreaming?

Thinking or Dreaming

Sometimes I ask myself. Is it really ok to do this? To keep dressing?
And not talking about being it good or wrong, but more on the side, of What would be the next step? what would I do about this? How far would this take me?

Do I really think that by doing it, I'm really getting used to it, or on the other hand, is it a way of satisfying a desire, with the hopes of it going away once fulfilled?

When would I stop? Or for that matter, do I want it to stop?
Would it become a routine that I would do as normal as going to the mall?
Would it still be fun to do it? Would it still remain something I wish to do, that I look forward for?
Would it stop when I finally look in the mirror without recognizing the boy behind and say "That’s finally Jessica, a real girl"
Or perhaps when finally managing to go out as Jessica, like it being a regular going out, without the fears and nervous feelings.
Or would it come a day, that I just find it boring to dress up?
Or that I give it up, in exchange for something else?
Or what If with time I got so used of this way of being that I start thinking about going even farther?
What if it keeps growing to the point I can't control it, can't stop it?

Do I really think any of this can actually ever happen? Would I want so?


Or perhaps its just an Illusion, and I am just dreaming about it?
Just dreaming that dressing means something? Just dreaming someday I might look as girly as possible as to finally say "here is Jessica"?
Am I dreaming, about being able to mix those two sides of my life, without destroying one, or even both of them?
Is it just a silly dream, wanting to be Jessica, to escape from the day to day?

Are those question meant to be think about, or just dream them off?

Thinking or Dreaming? Can't it be both?

Just a weekend pic post

Not much to post today, so just placing the pic.

Am I really becoming so vain??
No, please no

Jessica

Lots of Rain

Been raining here a lot.
Last night, the streets were all flooded
Pretty scary

Kisses
Jessica

Thank God is Friday

Thank God is Friday

The Angry look Pic

Not actually Angry
Yet I think the angry look is way better than the creepy smile I got.

:)

Boring week

Boring week
Been kind of a boring week, really noting to write about.
Plus the rainy days kind of put me in an apathetic mood.
Yet I prefer them to the extreme hot weather of the island.

Kisses
Jessica

Still my smile looks creepry

Thinking on the trip

So a week has passed since my trip to Mexico, and the make-up adventure.
Yes I was nervous of doing it, even since making the phone call for the appointment.
I was all nervous while doing it, and scared while being outside on the street.
But at the same time I was happy, happy of having the courage to do it,
Happy to try on all those clothes, the different styles.
Happy to being able to go out to the street, even if it was with company and too little short time.

Now my worry, is that I might want to do it again. (which seems a lot probable)

Kisses
Jessica

I'm exhausted

I'm exhausted

Working too much on Saturday
Then cleaning the apartment (I ended around midnight)
Sunday, wake up early and go do the shopping errands.
The result, when I finally got time to dress up and took pics.
The very instant I started doing photos lying on the bed, I fall sleep.
Wow I certainly was tired.

Kisses
Jessica

Part 7 and last. At the Chinese restaurant

So finally here is the last part of the chronicle.
The adventure, well more of a wait since there was nothing adventurous about it, on the Chinese food restaurant.
So we are walking when a Chinese restaurant is at sight, and they say "its here"
Horror, Oh my, the place is all lighted up, people on two of the tables by the entrance, and more people seated on the back of the place.
I almost wanted to go back running, but that meant going back alones, and that was more risky than going inside the food place.
So there I go inside the restaurant, after all it was to be a short time, since we were buying to take food home.
So the waiter arrives to give us the menus, and I quickly looking to other side.
And there I was sit, while they called people back at Blush, and decided what to order. During the waiting, the nervous feeling slowly, very slowly started to go away. Or maybe

was because I started playing with the lock of the camera bag. Good thing it didn´t break.
So the waiter arrives, and they start telling him, we are ordering this and that, and then all turn to me, and said "And you?"
And I go like "Aaa, sooome Chop Sueyyy", with mi voice all down , nervous and ugly. All the while thinking "I want to disappear". I meant if by any strange cosmic disturbance,

the waiter didn't found out about me, with the voice all illusion went away.
Then wait a little more, the bag of food arrives, we pay and go, as normal as possible.

The pic was taken there at the restaurant, and as some friend told me , I ciertanly look nervous in it.

And so ends this chronicle of the weekend adventure
Hope I didn't bore you to death, me making it a really long chronicle, jejejej

Kisses
Jessica

Part 6. Outside on the street at night

So after the pics outside on the street, I went back to the safety of a closed place.
I sit down, and try to be calm again.
i did another look change, actually only the skirt, and ut my own wig.
The people there at blush invited me to play domino.
I was there playing, when some of them were going out to buy something for dinner. Being that my only chance to go out as girl, I asked them to go with them.
They say, "sure", and there i go, out to the street.
But as soon as we go out, Horror, the shoe heels where making lots of noise, I almost felt like people would hear them from kilometers away (I know, I tend to exaggerate"
On the way t the food place we crossed several people, but I being all scared, as soon as I saw a person, i look to the other way,, so I never really noticed people reactions. But no one said anything, so my guess is that things went as good as possible.
Of course it was a great feeling, finally being able to be out, on the street dressed up as girl.
We arrived to the food place, and I'm like "I want to go back", of course would have been a bad choice to return all alone.
What happened inside, is long enough for another post, so later I wrote.
On the way back, we crossed more people, but I was a little more calmed.

And here, is the pic, of Jessica on the street at night.

Later I post about the food place adventure, jejejeje.

Kisses
Jessica

Part 5.1 A creepy smile

Since the first pic was a little too dark, I post this other one.
Also I can use as example, of why I don't smile, That smile is just creepy. Great for a horror movie character.

Part 5, first pic outside

The first pic on the outside world
Well the pics continued, and they ask me "Don't you want to take a few pics outside".
Actually I wanted, but I was at the edge of fear, so I was like not thinking about them. So I said "Mmm, let me wait a few minutes", and then went to sit down to get some courage to do it.
So, I finally, think ok, lets try to do it after all, it might just take one or two minutes to take the pics, not going to far away from the door.
So I ask them to please take the pics outside, and we walk toward the door. and I ask the photographer, "No one is there outside, right?"
He says "No, it’s empty", so I go out, and at that moment a man goes by on riding a bicycle. Horror, at that point I wanted to run back inside. But then the man turns his head around to look at me, and I’m like "I want to disappear, please, I want to become invisible". Surely all that was at most five seconds, but to me was like being exposed a full hour.
So, after that I set myself ready for a couple of pics on the street.
I'm posting the first photo of a series of three, of Jessica at the street, on daylight (afternoon actually)

Jejejeje, I know I have made this chronicle too long and you probably bored by now. Yet still a couple more post are still to come.

Kisses
Jessica

MakeOver Adventure Part 4 RedHair Girl

Trying other looks
One of the good things and advantage of going there, was that I was able to try different outfits, looks, and wigs.
I tried one look with a long black wig, I did think that look fitted me. But once on the pics, I didn't liked that look.
Other one I tried, more on curiosity, was redhair look, I really didn't think that might look good on me. And to my surprise, I liked the result. So I posted the pic.

Tomorrow, I'll tell about the part of the adventure where Jessica appears on pics, on the street, outside in the world.

Kisses
Jessica

MakeOver Adventure Part 3

I continue with part three of the chronicle.
After the pics on the formal dress, went to change clothes again.
And to take a few more pics. And that outfit looks casual yet fancy to take a few pics at the little garden.
So, to the garden area, and to pose for more pics.
It was great to be dressed as girl, between trees, outside of walls. I was all excited.

I really like the looks of the outfit of the pic.
I will continue with the rest of my adventure, and a change of look.

Kisses
Jessica

Jessica Extreme Makeover Adventure Part 2

Well to continue the chronicle
So I stand up, and walk toward the wall with the full size mirror.
I´m like "No way, I do look completely different", the eyebrows all slim, the eyes look like different shape.
So I´m there looking myself when someone says, "well can we start the pics" and gives me a little book with magazine pages, with poses I might try for the pics.
And then goes like, seat here, put your hand like the girl in this pics, now move your feet a few centimeters front, lets rearrange the wig, and clash-clash, a couple of pics taken.
Now lets try another angle, and clash-clash another pic. Now lets try this new pose.
And while the pics are being taken, someone enters, but I can't see who.
Then the photographer says, "This kind of pics, look better in a long dress, why don't you go change"
I am like, "yeah, cool, that way I can try different styles"
I choose a dress and walk to the changing area, passing by I can see they are doing make-up on the other person.
As I enter the dressing area, there is someone changing there, "Upps, I went red of embarrassment" I waited for her to finish, and went in to change.
And photo session continued

Here a pic in a more formal dress.
Kind of dress I might never got opportunity to dress.

It will continue soon
Kisses
Jessica

Jessica Extreme Makeover Adventure Part 1

Well, here is the chronicle of this weekend adventure.

I was there at the hotel, taking outside of backpack all the boy stuff, and shaving me.
Took the prints of the map and address, and went out, walking towards Blush.
I am walking, when I turn on the street, and I saw a beauty salon, with several people inside, and I said to myself "Please, that’s not the place, that can’t be the place", probably would have walked away if it turned to be there.
So I start looking for the numbers, and found out , Blush was on a House, all closed, windows covered, you could hear music coming from inside.
And there I was, standing at the door. And I said to myself "Is either now or never" and so all nervous I move my hand towards the ringbell.
A little window at the door opens, I can barely see a face on the other side, and with difficulty I was able to say "Hi, here is blush??" (or something the like)
The door opens, and a genetic girl greeted me. I go in, as she asks me if I was going for the make-up session, if I can sit and wait while she finishes sorting some stuff.
So I sit down, all nervous, and I hear someone coming down the stairs. And is a man, and I am thinking "Oh, god, please, make me disappear", but the girl then said, "Oh, He is my husband he also dresses, you might have seen her pics at the site", then my embarrassment level went a little down
Then the ringbells sounds, It scared me. They go open, and another man goes in, and I am like "Oh no, how terrible, what am I doing", and he sits in one of the couches, and I panic.
Then someone asked him, if it was the first time he is going for the makeup thing, panic remained but embarrassment went a little down.
So then the girl said, "come here and pic, some clothes to dress to get you make-up after that", So all nervous I go, and try to pic something that looks like would fit me and kind of simple.
So they told me, "get dressed, so we can start the makeup"
So I did, and while I was sitting down at makeup chair, I was so nervous and shaky, that the girl had to told me to relax.
And she was doing makeup on me, when I heard the door opens, and voices and I’m thinking "Oh no, more people, the horror"
The girl continued to apply make-up, now put the base, now close your eyes, now apply lip-gloss, and I with my nerves about to explode.
Suddenly, the girl said "Hey, I need a wig for Jessica, which color you think" and someone answers "Try with this one, kind of blonde", and she fits it and brush it.
Then she puts a mirror.
And as I see I’m like "Oh god, Wooow, I look like completely different, is that really me??"

Here is one of the first pics, with the look after the makeup.
Rest of the chronicle, in next days. jejej, trying to add a little suspense.
Kisses
Jessica

This weekend Adventure

Last post sounded really bad, guess my paranoia was too high when I wrote it.
I was talking about what I did this weekend
I’ll write a very detailed chronicle, but in the meantime
I went to a make-up and photo session at a place called Blush
And went for a little walk on the street as girl.
Here is a little pic, of the makeup session
With a blonde look.

Kisses
A paranoid and scared Jessica

Stop me Please

Stop me please
I must be the most stupid , crazy and stupid person in the world
What was I thinking?
Why did I did it?
How on earth did I became so stupid? so careless?

Please, please, help me.
Please stop me, before I ruin my life
By all means necessary stop me.

Also I discovered that I can be really coward. I got scared so easilly.

Stop Me, Please
Paranoid and scared Jessica

P.S.
About the pic.
Those are new shoes I bought
But I don't know how to keep the straps in place. they tend to get loose and fall.
Any tips or advice??

Waiting for the weekend

Its been a really chaos week
I´m really looking for week to end
Make up session, pics, and the whole set
And if I get enough courage, this might be the weekend I finally go out
We all will know on Monday
Kisses
Jessica

The One eye monster

Well I was just looking through the photos I have taken and found this one.
One of the attempts to cover my face. This time, it was the camera.
When looking at it, it reminded me of the Cyclops, the mythological creature with one eye. And I started thinking, into what would be like to have one eye only. For once I would look most sense of depth and perspective. Would the world look too different to me? Would it change my perception of things I cannot see?
What about dressing? Not being able to appreciate it visually complete, would my liking for this hobbie change?
Would seeing the world from a different view, would make it disappear or would it make it look as if completely normal day-to-day activity?
Not that it would change how others might view me (unless everyone turns Cyclops as well), but what about for me?
Guess there are no easy answers. Better sleep it over. Though probably I would have forgot it by tomorrow.
Kisses
Jessica

Ooops, it’s way too small.

I order this a few weeks ago, mostly for the top part (A friend advice I should bought something like it). I knew from the pic of place I bought it, that it was small, but never imagine it would be really like that small. I mean my hand is longer then that tiny micro skirt.. But no sitting with that skirt, or else. Luckily top part kind of fits, as long as I don’t breathe or move, jejeje. Guess I will try it later, but for sure if pics are taken, they will remain hidden away from the eyes of the Internet thingy.

Sun Burns from Hell

Ouch, got sun burns on the back. Its starting to hurt. I just hope, the burnt skin disappears before my next travel, would be really bad, to take pics, with burned shoulders. Or even worst, not to take pics.

Archeology Lesson by regular Jessica

Please ignore the post of evil Jessica. Sometimes is hard to control her. My respect to all archeologist.
Wow, during this weekend trip, I went to a couple of archeological sites, among other places.
Its impressive, every time I go to such places. I go speechless of seeing the pyramids. Wow just to imagine all the work those people did to build them. Plus all the artistic stuff those buildings have.
I am completely exhausted, climbing over 15 pyramids is a killing activity for your legs and feet.
But it was a great trip.

Archeology Lesson by Evil Jessica

When being a little kid, I always was admired of archeological sites, always thinking archeologists, were like genius people, always finding how to restore the pyramids, where every sculpture fits. That was until last trip.
Now I found it, it’s a kids’ easy thing. Just put the stones in the right order. Just follow the numbers the Mayans left on the rocks, How hard for an archeologist to put rock number 3 next to rock number 2.

I hate going to the movies on Wednesday

I know any psycologist would say is just another of my sociopath behavior. But why the hell did they invited me to go to the movies on a Wednesday.
With that thing of it being supposedly cheaper (In mexico the ticket is half price on wednesdays), movie theaters are more crowded that anything. You can´t giv e two steps without almost bumping into someone.
And you find all kind of rare human species.
The lady with like thre hundred kids, and she is unable to control them, yet she manages to buy a Jumbo size soda to each one of the. And all too big for them, they are spilling soda all the way to their seats.
Or the guy who hasn´t take a bath like in three days, but put like 3 bottles of perfume on top, yiak the worst of smells, and to his arm, his girlfriend with cellulitis and bigger belly than a sumo wrestler, scaring averyone, while using a tight gym outfit.
Or the tree teens, all the time talking on their mobille phones, most probably withim themselves.
Or the elderly couple, who when you see them make you say "Oh so cute", but when they are walking ahead of you slower than a giant turtle, and thousands of people are closing distance behind you, the horror.

And yet, my movie companions says, "But if this is the beauty of going to the movies, to share the exciment and laughter of it with all this people around us".

The greatest horror, that is.

what if the monster gets out of control??

What if Jessica, gets too much confidence in herself, that start showwing off or going out, being less worried, to the point she starts making mistakes.

Just see the blog lately, I finally managed to post the first pics, of clean face. Then do a little hiding game for a week, and Kabooom, lots of pics of me showing my face after that. Even some from before that I have decided where not good enough.

Is Jessica being thoughtless and careless of the consequences.

Will the same happens, if she ever decides to go out?

I just don´t know.

Kisses
Jessica

P.S. On image, I can´t distinguish the pic were I wear nylons/stockings (not the white ones) and the one with barelegs. Can you??

Now it´s both hands

well, I was trying to make the crazy hand (the one who likes so much to cover my face) to be more like the nice hand.

Wrong, idea, now both hands like to cover my face.

Guess, my hands are not ready to let the world see Jessica's Face.

-kisses
Tired Jessica

a See my Pic post

I tell truth.
Had nothing to write, just wanted to show a pic of the pink dress with more proper shoes.

Kisses
Stupid Jessica

Just unbelievable.

While going through my usual news reading, I found an article about this "New Patent on TV Forces You to Watch Ads" telling some company has filed for a patent of a device that would not allow to change channels while ads are on.

So they want to take freedom away from watching TV, and force me to see the commercials, what will they do next, invent somthing that will avoid me going outside the room or closing my eyes.

It´s like what they do in movies here in Mexico. You go to movies, and before the movie starts, you got to suffer 10 minutes of ads. And you paid for seeing a movie, not ads. So now there only thing you can do is ignore them and close your eyes or going into the movie late risking a bad seat place.

And now they plan to do something similar, if not worst on TV.
I can't beleive how greedy, those people are.

Well, there is actually a worst scenario, that they invented a devicem that forces to see the crap mexican tv has.

The article is here

Have a nice weekend
Jessica


P.S. About the pic, Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaines shows she dances extraweird, well I think my pose is even weirder in this pic

Another historical post

I noticed it’s been since February since I wrote about the past, In a way it is good, since that means, at the moment, the present as Jessica was more interesting (or so I think) than past tales.
But one of the points of writing this blog was to write how I went from the regular kid, to become Jessica (that sounds funny), so it’s time to get the memories back. If this is boring for you, then return tomorrow, when perhaps I post something different.

So last time, I talked you about my first skirt, well with time I managed to get a couple of more items of girl clothing. A white blouse, my mom threw away since it had a stain, a pair of broke pantyhose, and a camisole. But first being old clothes I looked like a poor abandoned girl, and most of the time when left home alone, I just preferred to look for something else. So soon it became useless to have them.

Then came one of the “I’m not doing it anymore” phases. What caused? A girlfriend. In a way it felt completely wrong, to want to dress up, when I was going out with a girl. Since girls don’t date girls (that’s what I was thought, no longer my thinking) Plus the guilt feeling of doing something against what was normally accepted, or just being a freak. That was a troublesome decision. So for a few years, it disappeared completely.

What brought my femm side back?, opportunity, plain and simple I was again home alone, and that time the complete 24 hours per day, 7 days a week.
What happened was that my family needed to move to another city, for Dad’s job. But I was at College/University by that time, so it was clear I could not move. So the decision was, I stayed at home, while I finished school. They weren’t selling the house anyway.

So there I was one day, looking for something among the boxes my family left at home. When in one of the boxes I found a knee length green skirt. And as I saw it, the thought just appeared in my head again “Wear it, its ok, just wear it”. And there I went, to put the skirt on. It felt so great, to do it again after a few years of denying it. My brain then went crazy, I ended opening as many boxes needed until I completed a girly outfit. I don’t even remember if I found what I was looking for, I’m pretty sure, I even stop looking for it. But I do remember the outfit. The green skirt, a light blue blouse, black panties, and a pair of flat shoes (the only ones left) I spent the rest of the day dressed like that. It felt so great that by the end of day, instead of returning the clothes to their boxes, I just hanged them with my regular boy ones.

And so the dressing game returned, but that time, there was no rushing, no being worried about my parents returning before time and seeing me. I was free in a way to dress up, as much as my free time allowed me. Maybe not as much, since I still had some issues with it, especially the feeling of doing something that was wrong and evil.

It will continue….

Jessica
In the pic I look like angry, trust me I was not :)

A silly post

I just found yesterday, that it hurts when you fell off the bed while sleeping.

Ouch.

:(

They are coming, and I am scared.

The pic above is from a really nice tradition of my hometown. On easter time, very religious stuff.
Lots of tourist and locals really enjoy watching this.

But there is another side of the story here. The part when I see them coming, and I got really scared.

Why?? Well when you grow up hearing stories of the bible of an angry God, the one who killed innocent kids, the one who sent his son to suffer and die. But above all , the God that is looking everything you do in everysecond in your life, to record every sin, every bad tought, every bad behaivior, so by the time you die, He has all the necesary info to deny you the entrance to heaven, and sent you to eternal pain and suffering in Hell. You end up a really scared kid.
And then you see this, People walking in complete silence, while covering their faces, whit chains at theirs feet, or hitting themselves at the back with whips, or carrying those really heavy religious figures. Your fear grows.
Next you hear your family tell you, "Don't do that, God is seeing you" or "Bad kid, God will punish you".
Or at the church, the priest always saying "Be affraid of God's wrath".
I still can't beleive I made it trough life, with all those scary stuff being told to me almost every day.

And then people ask me why I like horror movies so much. Why I am not scared of such horrible monsters.
Well it's really simple, How can you be scared of a vampire, a werewolf , a zombie, when you compare them to God´s wrath and an eternity in Hell with pain and suffering.

Bah, they do not look that scary, plus you can kill those monsters with human means (a silver bullet, holy water, etc), while on the other hand scaping from God, thats impossible, or so I was taught.

Fortunately for me, with time I started thinking different.
Yet sometimes I got scared. What if they find Jessica´s real identity, Will they come to take me apart from the ones I love, to excommunicate me from church, to condemn me for eternal suffering.
Such are my nightmares, and the images are like the pic and worst.

I better stop, for sure you are bored by now, and if I continue writting I might cry.

Scared
Jessica

Nice Sunset

So I was out a few days for Hollyweek, Easter.
Had a great time with family, got really busy.

Now, me needs to go back into work mode.
But how, when such sunset invites me to go out early and just relax.


Kisses
Jessica

Image composed by Lizbeth

So, my friend Lizbeth made this image of we both girls holding hands.

I am tottally impressed of her work with the images, plus its really stylish. In short, I just love the image.

On other matter, I wonder.

Does the image bring thoughts of two nice innocents girls holding hands to face the fears of the world together.
Or maybe, more of a seductive pair of girls, holding hands in a way to raise wild images on the eyes of the viewer.

Yes I know, I went to the opposite extreme.

:)
Kisses
Jessica

Need to change Background

Ok.

I definitively need to change the background on the pics.
Otherwise I will become as Jessica, the girl with pics in a light green bed-clothing, and rags of purple clothing as curtains.
Not to mention the Purple pillow, the white walls.

It will become so normal, that when I took a pic in a different place, then it will be like , "MM, its not her usual place, either its fake or she did something stupid".

So guess I need to redecorate the background.
Maybe some real curtains, or use a chair instead of bed, perhaps a painting in the wall.

The little voice in the back of my head sas , "Yeah sure, Jessica, like if anyone is going to beleive your post is really about background, you just wanted to show off your pic"

Oh, shhhh, little voice. See, now all my ideas for new decoration are gone.

Well hopefully after easter I can come up with a plan for it.

Till then
Kisses
Jessica

A crazy hand

See, the crazy hand, is back.
My hand just like to cover my face.
I can't control her, or can I???

2 pics for the price of 1

No, I´m not selling anything, just that there are two pics in one post.
Actually, just wanted to post them, before I started thinking, and then i went into the paranoia again.

For Toefans, feetfans, painted nails fans.

Well actually I just wanted to show off the new shoes.
Kisses
Jessica

Need to decide

Hi
Yes I know I promise to try to post something less superficial than just pics of me.
But its Monday, so brain is still sleeping. Maybe tomorrow

Anyway
Tried with the blonde wig again, still the looks of it don´t feel right to me.
So I decide to put shots side by side, to see if that helped.

Well from the back, both look ok.
I love how the blonde one is longer
BUT, the dark brown has more style.

well, guess I need another side-by-side shot, but facing the camera.
But, mondays are also not a day when I´m brave. so maybe other day.

Kisses
Jessica

Weekend Post

I was reading my blog, and seems like lately all my post are, Hey, look at my photos, look at me.

I apologize to everyone, really, I know I´m not that superficial/shallow. Or so I like to think about me.

So now, to compensate, I´m going to put a very long boring deep phylosofical post.

Of the non-evident meta-existence of the paradogical Jessica.

So we start by defining a basic axioma " 2 is a pair number"
Then I propose a theory "Jessica is real"

So now, its a matter of by using silogism, deduction, induction and all those fancy wordy thinking metods, to prove if my theory is not false.

So starting with a complex asociation of terms, we can say "That reality is perceived by the senses" and that

Memory Overload... Need to restart

Oh, seems my brain couldn't handle that much thinking.
Seems I can not reallly make much of a philosopher.
Well, maybe its for the best, what if my theory turned out to be false.

So guees, I better stay here contemplating the beautifull flowers.

Kisses
Jessica

Will it be safe to venture out again???

Lady Jessica, seems the coast is free, no enemies at sight, all pirates have run away to the might of our cannons.

Do you really think so-, captain Paranoia, -is it really safe to venture again and show me to the world of internet.

Well, to tell you the truth, safe, completely safe, it is not. but look for yourself mylady, the coast line looks calm and no enemies on the horizon.

Ok, I´ll give it a try, but set the cannons ready, and don´t hesitate to shoot , you got my permission to kill.

Shoe shopping, a little embarrasing experience

Well last weekend , since I was out of town, I thought. "Hey Jessica, it`s going to be easier, to shop shoes here, since nobody knows you"
SoI look through several shoe stores.
But problem number one.
Here in the south of the country people are shorter, especially women. So the bigger shoe size was 1 size smaller than the ones that kind of fit me.
Well, I thought lets risk it, worst thing they don`t fit. And some model weren`t expensive.

So there I go into the shoestore. And tell the saleslady, "Hi, I want to buy some shoes", so sheask "Show me which ones", and start walking towards the display area, but to the male shoes area, so I have to quickly tell her, "mm, its over here", At that point she went ok, but a lady over there look at us with a strange look.

So I guide her, and she asks "what size", and as soon as I said the "6.5" she turns her head to look at me in a little surprised way, I just thought it was for being a little uncommon for anyone, even women for ask that size.

So she goes behind the counter, and upstairs to look for the shoes, meanwhile I wait her by the counter, without sitting down to wait. She arrives, and hands me one shoe and extend her arm as if telling me to go to the seatting area, (my guess she was still hopping I was taking the shoe to someone else).

But when I told her, "Can you bring the other one and the box", then she gave me the most terryfing look, then she went over the counter, looked down to my feet area, and went inside to bring the box. (at that point I wanted to become invisible).
She returned, I looked the shoes for a few secs, and then told her I was buying. Paid and went out.

I`m sure she must have alredy forget it, but for me, that shopping, was a really embarrassing one.

Kisses
Jessica

Oh, the shoes do fit me, but only for pic purposes, they don`t fit me well enough to walk.

My Friend Princess Lilly

Hello

Today I want to introduce you to a dear Friend Princess Lilly
I wrote her an email a few months ago, in the times all my pics were headless. Well she was really nice on answering them. Plus she gave me a few tips on make-up that really have helped me a lot.
Since then she has been very kind to keep writting to me on email.
She is from India, on the other side of the world from Mexico

Viset her webpage
Visit Princess Lilly's Secret Garden :

http://www.geocities.com/princesslilly2006

She is a real cute girl.

Hope one day I can save enough money to visit her, so she can teach me how to wear a saree

Cave Exploring

So, during weekend went traveling. One of the places I visited was a place called "Grutas de Xtamcumbilxuna'an", a really cool cave. Plus, since I arrived really early, I got to explore it with only the basic lighting while they turned the light system on. At some points I had to take a flash photo, look at the camera, and then walk sure that I will not fall into a hole.

But this picture also is good for this post, Why, because after las week crazy idea of posting pictures with my face. I now have a need to go back into the darkness, to go into the cave, and wait until my courage is restored, until this paranoia dissapears.

In the meantime, Jessica is going to be hidding, in the dark, deep in those caves, away from the eyes of the world.

My Friend Lizbeth

I want you all to meet a friend of mine, I met via Messenger.
She is extremely pretty, WOOOW, just looking at her pics, makes me green of envy.
Plus she likes watching suspense-horror movies.

And a few days ago she decided to start her blog
Give her a Visit (It's in spanish, so get the translator ready)

Here is the link to her site "There's something about Lizbeth"