Standing in the mirror.
One of the crazy ideas I had as a kid, was that the person in the mirror was like the image of another me, in a parallell world, but thats was the opposite.
So I thought the one in the mirror was like the evil twin.
Now I Know I was wrong as kid.
The evil one is the one in this side :)
This weekend I'll do a last photo session before a forced dissapearing for a little time.
Worry not, nothing bad happened.
I am just having visitors at home, for which I am very happy. But for such visitors I need to hide and keep away everything related to Jessica.
So for a little while, Jessica is going to dissapear.
So for the photosession I want to try and model the new clothes and shoes I got from shopping this weekend.
And while on that I want to make a picture I haven't done before.
I have two options either a picture of me smiling or a lingerie pic.
Which photo should I shot???
Kisses
Jessica
I can be very silly sometimes, thinking I have lost things when they aren't lost.
Like today, I was ready to return from lunch time. And spent like 10 minutes looking for the car keys, while holding them all the time in my hand.
About the picture, , at the hotel room I staed they had this little corner seat bench, I tried a few poses. I liked this 2 with this outfit.
One on the left kind of innocent looking, the one in the right kind of a relaxed feeling.
Kisses
Jessica
A few time ago I was invited to go against the Non
Photo Day at this group
Aparently someone decided to go against taking pictures for July 17th. So I took a few pics.
So I went to take photos, I liked this fountain, the rest of the pics are here at J
I went shopping this weekend.
For both personalities, the race was close, but at the end the boy bought more (Which is good, I was scared I would end up spending more in the girl side, that's scary)
Wow, the make-up thingies, can add up, to be expensive really quickly.
Thanks a lot to Jolene for all the fashion tips.
Since I have a little guide for shopping it was really easy, walk in, show a salesperson the little images of what I was looking for, and see if I liked them and size was ok.
Still was a little difficult, since it was quite crowded in some places.
This blouse/top was bought on Saturday. I returned a little past midnight to the hotel, but somehow I just wanted to try it, So I ended up doing a few pictures.
I like the color, gives a kind of sense of tranquility.
Well enough of narcissistic babbling for today.
Kisses
Jessica
There is a movie I like a lot, In Spanish its called "El viaje de Chihiro" and under it says "Sen No Chihiro" which I suppose is the phonetic form of the original name. In USA was released like "Spirited Away"
I really can't say enough to express the beauty of this movie to convince you to watch it, it's really a piece of art, and a perfect work of animation. So trust me, and watch it.
But lets go to the part I want to share, that I like for what I posted for the history of my name, and why I decided to select Jessica based on the common letter to my boy name
At some point Haku tell Chihiro the following
"Yubaba steals people's names in order to control them. If you had lost your name, then you wouldn't know how to return home."
Shows how important a name is, in case of Chihiro, remembering her name, was a pass to freedom, the last link to the outside world she came from.
For me, selecting Jessica over other names was in a way, a link between both sides of me, a little bit of control over that side, a point to return back to the boy name.
Probably my rant is starting to sound senseless, but it's my rant
Kisses
Jessica
:)
How Jessica got her name
Its been a while since the last past history post (here), but I promise I will try to write these more often, at least for myself, since surely they are boring :)
Well so last time I was telling you about me discovering other girls like me on the Internet, finding I was not a weird occurrence of my freaky mind.
Among the several web pages I found out, I saw a few ones, that contained guestbook or even leave an e-mail address, so I thought, hey I can write to the girls there, ask for advice, talk about this common thing. But as I clicked the first a-mail link I realized I didn’t wanted to use my boy email, even as cryptic as it was.
So I needed an email address for my female persona, and I could have just selected something like wikgirlmex or qwerty890 , if it was to be the email for this side of my personality, better choose something with a girly name.
So I started thinking, mm, if I was a girl what name would I have, mmm.
So what I did was to write a list of names, that sounded pretty, girly to me.
I remember a few of them , Anna, Delilah, Jazmin, Jessica, Karina, and maybe a few other ones.
At the end, and I am probably giving too much information with this, but anyway, I decided to choose Jessica because it shares first letter to my boy name, wanting it to be in a way related to it.
So I created an email account with the name Jessica, in that time, didn’t have a last name, and lost completely the original e-mail addy, was something like jessica234
But I forgot it, in one of the era of no dressing.
Well enough of past history post. Other day I might write more.
Enjoy the week
Jessica
This weekend I dressed up again.
But this time I didn't went out, I stayed locked in home, reading a while.
But also giving myself sometime to reflect back on what I did in the past two times.
Was it too risky to do what I did? Probably yes
Was it a dangerous to go into the park like that at night? Yes, more probably was, even with my precautions, and going a few days before as boy to check out the surroundings.
Was I risking too much being seen or spotted by someone who might recognize me? Well the probability did exist, but according to my knowledge was pretty minimal.
Should I have not done it? Well, probably not the way I did it, probably would have been wiser to do it earlier or with someone, but I ciertanly was not ready for the first one, and no one could go with me, since I was not telling any one about Jessica, so someone went with me.
Was I scared? Yes I was, I went into the edge of panic several times, once even fled, walking but fleeing anyway. But that was part of it, to be scared of doing it, so I can realize It was just a little fear I was able to overcome.
Did I managed to overcome the fear? More probably NO, but I did manage to do it any way , so maybe didn't overcome fear, but managed enough to do it.
Would I do it again? Yes, just need to find when, maybe next time I managed to do it to a place with people, or going with someone else. Or if I just repeat the late alone trip, at least be carefull enough to minimize the risks and not panic so easily.
Or perhaps, I will just go crazy, and do some stupid thing, and enjoy the adrenaline ride, hopping my luck saves me again, who knows.
Kisses
Silly Jessica
The fake Nail Thingies
So this weekend I was doing house chores, which included putting some order inside Jessica's makeup and stuff box.
So while on that, was seeing if I still got all fake nails for each set. And yes, they were all inside the box, 10 for each color.
When I finished, I like how the groups looked, like little thingies all lined up, so I took a picture.
And help me decide which ones to use next day when trying a previous outfit, but this time showing my face.
Still have trouble maneuvering stuff with the long nails on my hands, but guess with time and use, will get use to them, just like the heels, at start I walked all weird as if I was to fall down at every step, now I can walk normally, perhaps still need to work into doing it in feminine way, but no feel of falling down.
Now I'm just writting with no sense of anything, better stop.
Kisses
Jessica
So here is the rest of the story, the answer to the question “Did Jessica manage to be brave enough to go into the park?”, Guess no-one will read, since the photo answers the question. But I like writing about it, so here it is.
So I was in the car, next to the park, trying to build enough courage, and say “Hey , Jessica, is now or never”, and there I go, down the car, and start walking toward center area of the park, as I am walking, I see that in one of opposite corners of the park, seems to be a couple walking into the park. “Oh no, Oh no”, I went into panic, and turn around, and walk as fast as possible back to my car, and go away.
As I am driving away from the park, I am thinking, “Oh gosh, my bad luck, just when I finally get courage, someone walks into the park, and I run away”, but as I was driving the panic went away I thought, “Mmm, lets try once more, probably the couple was just walking by, and park is alone again” So I drove back, parked the car again, and look around to see if the park was empty.
It seems like the park was empty again, so there I go, down the car again, I walk to center area of the Park, look around and it was indeed empty. So I walk a little bit around, trying to enjoy my walking as much as the fear allowed me to. As I was walking around the park a boy in a bicycle passed by street closest to where I was standing at the moment. I freeze there, and to my horror the boy turn his head to watch me and then he whistled, oh gosh, the horror turned into panic, adrenalin all going crazy, I was ready to start running away, but the boy then turned to the front and just kept going his way. What a big relief I felt.
After that I decided it was time to get a picture to remember this adventure. At one side of the central area of the park there is a monument, with a wide base point, which seemed to be helpful to leave the camera and run to pose for a pic. So there I go, and try one pic, unfortunately camera had trouble with lighting and pic resulted all blurry and lots of brightness. I took sample shots to several directions. The pic is the one that shows better and still is too blurry and with bad quality.
So after taking the pics, I go and sit down in a bench in the park to see the pics, and calm down a little more. Finally decide its time to go home, and start walking towards the car, gosh I was really unlucky that night, and I saw a car turning to same street my car was. Quickly I thought of turning back and raise my hand toward my head, so if anything the people inside the car would just see me from the back as if I was talking on my mobile phone. As the car pass by, I turn my head a little and what I see is the man in passenger side with his head outside the window looking towards me. Oh gosh, the horror. Then at as the car arrives to the corner it stops down and I panic (they needed to stop since other street had right of passage, but at the moment I forgot it), and in the panic, all I thought about doing was to go towards the car and get in, from passenger side, not worrying if I have to slide over to driver’s seat. But as I am going inside my car, the other car follow its way.
I stayed there sit inside my car for a couple of minutes, before going down to get back in, on the driver side, to drive back to the safety of my home. From all the fear, excitement, adrenaline, it took me a couple of hours to finally fall sleep, but I slept happy to know I finally have managed to do it, and that everything had gone almost as good as I expected.
Kisses
Jessica
So here is the chronicle of the second drive adventure, .
So Sunday night I decided to take another drive dressed as Jessica. Why?? Well it was fun last time, all the fears, all the adrenaline, being nervous, and at the end feeling all happy about being successful in doing it.
So there I go, after taking a few pics with the outfit I already showed, I waited watching TV until it was near midnight again. And look through the window, apparently street is empty, So there goes Jessica, outside again and into the car.
So I go for the same route, and I am heading two blocks ahead to make the first trip around, so there I am going and as I am entering next block, lots of cars parked, and a few people walking by, and as soon as I turned the corner, Oh no, several cars in line, moving really slowly, several people on the street walking by. The reason, in that street there is a funeral house, and apparently someone was being held in funeral service, so there were lots of people arriving in theirs cars, and walking towards the service.
Maybe I am too much of a paranoid, but I am completely sure at least a few of the people walking by were able to see me while I was driving by. So for the rest of the driving, no going into that street.
A few minutes later I drove by a park I have spotted in previous drive by, with enough lighting, and apparently alone. At the moment I pass by, one of the food stands there was still there, but they were just closing and picking their stuff, so all I had to do was drive for maybe 20 minutes to give them time to finish packing and go. (I have previously went to the park in boy mode at Friday night to see if it was safe enough for a girl to go there for a little walk at night)
So there I am driving around, at some street very empty, I stop the car, trying to took a couple of pics, but I didn’t like the result at the end, so I am posting this one, which actually helps to explain the following since this skirt was a little problematic, as I was driving and stepping on the break and gas pedals, the skirt was slowly moving up, to the point a few times I had to slow down to move it down my legs to a more decent position. So now I have learned this skirt is not so suitable for driving.
So finally I went by the little park again, and it is now empty, so I stop the car in the less used street next to it, turn engine off, and sit there for a minute, trying to get enough courage to go down the car and take a walk into the park.
Did I manage to do it?? Well I’ll write about that, probably tomorrow.
Jejeje, what a lame cliffhanger line I just wrote,
Kisses
Driving Girl
Jessica
So there I went, this weekend again trying to gain confidence to go out.
This is outfir I used, later this week I will writing about what happened.
Kisses
Jessica
My face looks funny in this pic
Was i surprised of something I saw??
Or have I seen a ghost that scared me??
Actually if I would have seen a ghost i would be jumping of happinness
I know, I know, all my close-minded science teachers said ghost does not exist,
I know lots of people use ghost to scam people money, I hate those people since they gave bad reputation to ghost.
But as a kid, being fan of horror movies, one of my dreams was to see a ghost.
So definitively a ghost would not scare me.
I know, I know, I am a vain girl, posting all the pictures first and leaving the adventure telling for the end, Maybe it is some kind of subversive marketing plot, jejeje. Or just was the chronological order of the pics.
Well here it goes. So you have seen that this weekend I dress up, and took some pics, after that I decided to relax a little by seeing a movie thinking that by the end of it I would took make-up and clothes off and go to sleep.
But no, some kind of evil demon put some crazy thought on my mind, so as I power down the DVD thingie, I start thinking about doing something really really stupid. So I grab the camera bag, and put keys, wallet and cell phone in it, and head to the door.
A last sense of carefulness appeared, as I reached the window, to see if the neighbors were outside their homes chatting, but the street seemed to be all empty. And so I did it, I opened the door, and let Jessica see the outside world. I stood at the door frame for a second, a last chance to go back, and not do such stupid risky thing, but my legs decided to do the opposite, and gave the first step to the outside.
I closed my home door and run to the car, as quickly and ladylike as possible I jump inside. Sitting there I had one last thought, one last moment to stop that nonsense and go back home. Starting to think of all the fears of doing it. What if at a crossing someone sees me, what if that person recognize me, what if a police car stop me, or the worst happens and I crash??. For a second those thoughts were struggling in my mind. But the last drop of craziness finally got its way, and slowly my hand turned the car engine on. Brrrm, that sound put me into driving mode.
Check the lights, adjust seatplace (yep, had to put it a little back, guess the heels add length to my feet), adjust mirrors, fasten seatbelt, first gear, and ready to go, Brrrruuum, and there goes Jessica driving the car. All full of fears but driving for her first time in life.
So there I go, two blocks down, then turn left, one block, left again, just trying to get myself to take a little ride around the block, so sooner than expected I am back at the street I live. I was like "Eh, what, the ride is over, but I was having so much fun, no,no, I want more" and listening to my crazy mind, I stepped the gas pedal, and leave home and a little bit of my fears of driving behind.
And so there I went, every time riding a few more blocks away, worrying when at corners I had to stop as I waited for the other cars to pass by, worried when at one corner with a taco stand, people there turned their heads to look at me (well to tell the truth I was more worried maybe one of them was someone who knew me, fortunately all were strangers to me), and worried when at one corner a boy in his truck waived to me, letting me pass even when he had preference to go first (that was a confidence boost, guess from far, inside the car and little light, he thought I was a girl). Worried when later I stopped at some point and took a few pics of me inside the car, this one being the less ugly one.
So I drove for around 30 minutes, well not sure really about how much time, but that is my guess. As I come back close to home, checked no-one was around, and park the car. Go down, and open the door and run back inside to safety, out from the eyes of whoever might pass by. (Actually a car went by as I was opening the door, but most they would see was my back, so no problem there, I think)
And so ends the adventure of Driving Miss Jessica.
Kisses
A driving girl
Jessica
I like how this pic look, kind of innocent, yet manage to show some leg.
Jejej, just being vain and showing off.
Kisses
Jessica
I received an E-mail from a person Identified as Paul from some (li- ve -y -oo) place
Basically they wanted me to join some place on internet to make me appear on webcam and pay me, in other words to make me a (wh- o -re), or (pro- sti- ti -tut -e)
I am so angry, who the hell they think I am.
An Angry
Jessica
Here is the copy of the body of email
Hello
We have the pleasure to offer you a fantastic occasion to make money and to have a lot of amusement at the same time.
We look for models girls, tranny or shemales of all over the world, alone or in couple of all the countries including Asia, Arabia, Latino, Africa, America and Europe.
Requirements Models:
* You are attractive, confident?
* Being relaxed in front of your WebCam?
Not Travels To work.
More than On-line Hours = More Profit.
Our Dutch company is the specialist webcam.
I take care of the sector of the models, girls, tranny and shemale which is the good sector with the webcam, we have many customers.
You can to work at home with our system
You need
1) Your artist's name
2) 6 photos of you
3) We have a discription very detailed how to install
- Required equipment: Pentium 4 or equivalent, Windows XP, Almost every camera USB works, but the best is Logitech Sphere.
As our video is good quality, you need a rather good webcam,
But one not expensive, there is in about of 100 $ rather good, if there is a zoom with remote control it is better to satisfy the customers.
- The requirements of connection are a debit of minimum 256Ko Almost every Cable Or Adsl works.
There are two sorts of video chat
The private cat is a gossip
And the nudechat is a gossip the price is less expensive but he can there have several customers joined on the same model, 1 , 2 , 3, 5 , 10 or more without limit. And so more profit
Price
You receive 50 % of incomes, the other companies give only 30 %
So here is the new skirt I bought, Is really comfortable and easy to wear.
I tryed to repeat the same pose, for both lighting schemes in the picture.
The one to the right, show the colors in a more closed way to real colors (or as real as I see them) the one in the left, hast this cool light blue tone, which I kind of feel makes the image look more relaxed.
Kisses
Jessica
So summer starts today
Supposed to be the longest day with sun, too bad I can go out and enjoy it in a nice summer girly outfit.
But maybe sometime son I would be able to.
Happy Summer Days
Kisses
Jessica
A friend named Zully made this drawing of me, of course with a little changes to enhance feminity.
Can you guess the image t was based on??
Thanks a lot to Zully
She made a superb, amazing drawing
Kisses
This weekend I travel to a Mayan site, called Palenque.
Lots of Pyramids, really big place.
Unfortunately the main Pyramid, the one with the tomb was closed, so only got to see the replica at the museum.
Lots of walking, lots of climbing plus the hot weather can get you tired really quickly.
Ended up all tired and legs are exhausted.
Really cool thing, is that it is located near the jungle, being able to hear all the birds and monkeys so close was great.
Bad thing, the mosquitoes got several bites on legs and arms.
Next day went to see the waterfalls, wow they sure are impressive.
Went swimming there.
Then driving 4 to 5 hours, I ended up all tired
But fun weekend.
Kisses
Jessica
A weird pose pic.
And admirer sent me this
J amas en el recio universo
E ncontrar crei, a un angel androgino,
S i bien la travesia del mismo
S e tornaba ya desesperante, aun
I ncluso la desesperanza llego,mas
C uando todo perdido parecia
A ti,mi dulce musa encontre en el firmamento
by Dragon Rojo
If I translate to English, it lost the letters
Wow, again so much time has passed between historical posts (jeje, better come out with a better name, this one sounds and reminds me of the boring school subject)
Well as I was telling in my last past post, I have returned to this dressing activity, and one might think that having a house alone would bring more opportunities to do it, make it easier. But that was not completely true, since I still had too many conflicts in my mind about it.
But this time, there was something that helped me. By that time, I have found about a thing called Internet. You go into it, look about a subject, and Voila, hundreds of pages with info about it.
Well all confused, I decided to look information on the subject of my dressing. The first problem was "What to look for?" by that time didn't know the terminology related to the subject (and as of today I still don't get the difference between all those t-something labels) but I started writing whatever come to mind. On one of those searches I found a page (unfortunately I don't remember the page) but the thing was that it contained the words transvestite y crossdressing and kind of what they meant, so at least I knew what to search for.
So I went searching for those words, but the only results I got where for previews of porn sites. Yes the girls on the pics look amazing, all femenine except for that detail that most of the time was with blur or semiconcealed, so might not even be sure was not a composed image. That instead of helping me, made me feel worst. Yes the looked great, but from that th e only explanation that come to mind about this dressing thing, was that apparently the option was to become like some kind of visual object that appears on porn sites, and that was not something that I thought of.
I was about to give up when a webpage came out, of a person who looked like more real, a girl from Hungary by the name Hajnalka, actually at first look of her pics, I was thinking, hey thats a genetic girl, and a pretty one. But after looking with more atention and reading her page find out it was someone like me, with this interest in dressing with girl clothes, and she managed to acheive that in such a wonderful and perfect way. Wow amazing, that put me dreaming in that maybe sometime in the future I might be able to do something similar to that (and I am still dreaming about it)
The best thing was that she had links to pages to other girls, some of them real beauty godesses, other less experienced but with that touch of feminity, And some of the girls pages, told their histories, some very similar to mine, Some even had a large amount on information, about the why, the how, why is it a normal thing, why is not always something to do with sexual behavior. Lots of information that little by little helped me to kind of understand more this liking of me.
I stop the story here, next time I will write about my first run into the internet, and why I choosed the name Jessica.
Bye by now
Kisses
Jessica
Wearing the mini blue outfit.
Guess I am looking to draw attention
How vain am I?
The pic is small, yes I know I posted that way on purpose
Kisses
Jessica
Due to me being too busy, and probably a little lazy to write, here is a late chronicle of one of Jessica´s crazy adventures.
So the weekend from two weeks ago, I decided to risk my secret identity once more.
This time, was a girl, who lives in the same place I live.
As usual I was nervous from the moment I decided to say "Ok, let's meet"
So we met in an open area near my place (in case I decided to run away).
We then went ono to my place, and me being all nervous took a few minutes before saying "ok, lets start getting all dressed"
Each of us , changed in one of the rooms of my place.
Then saw each other dressed up. She had a great feminine figure (I felt envy, guess I need to put extra effort to loose some weight)
We then chatted a little, but soon it become more of me asking her lots of questions, she being lot more experienced in this than me.
We then took a couple of pics, but she needed to go somewhere, and time to say bye.
I stayed a few more hours dressed, reading and listening some music, before I got hungry.
So out goes the pretty clothes and makeup, and out to lunch.
So ends the chronicle.
Pic is the outfit I used.
Hugs
Jessica
Thinking or Dreaming
Sometimes I ask myself. Is it really ok to do this? To keep dressing?
And not talking about being it good or wrong, but more on the side, of What would be the next step? what would I do about this? How far would this take me?
Do I really think that by doing it, I'm really getting used to it, or on the other hand, is it a way of satisfying a desire, with the hopes of it going away once fulfilled?
When would I stop? Or for that matter, do I want it to stop?
Would it become a routine that I would do as normal as going to the mall?
Would it still be fun to do it? Would it still remain something I wish to do, that I look forward for?
Would it stop when I finally look in the mirror without recognizing the boy behind and say "That’s finally Jessica, a real girl"
Or perhaps when finally managing to go out as Jessica, like it being a regular going out, without the fears and nervous feelings.
Or would it come a day, that I just find it boring to dress up?
Or that I give it up, in exchange for something else?
Or what If with time I got so used of this way of being that I start thinking about going even farther?
What if it keeps growing to the point I can't control it, can't stop it?
Do I really think any of this can actually ever happen? Would I want so?
Or perhaps its just an Illusion, and I am just dreaming about it?
Just dreaming that dressing means something? Just dreaming someday I might look as girly as possible as to finally say "here is Jessica"?
Am I dreaming, about being able to mix those two sides of my life, without destroying one, or even both of them?
Is it just a silly dream, wanting to be Jessica, to escape from the day to day?
Are those question meant to be think about, or just dream them off?
Thinking or Dreaming? Can't it be both?
Not much to post today, so just placing the pic.
Am I really becoming so vain??
No, please no
Jessica
Been raining here a lot.
Last night, the streets were all flooded
Pretty scary
Kisses
Jessica
Thank God is Friday
The Angry look Pic
Not actually Angry
Yet I think the angry look is way better than the creepy smile I got.
:)
Boring week
Been kind of a boring week, really noting to write about.
Plus the rainy days kind of put me in an apathetic mood.
Yet I prefer them to the extreme hot weather of the island.
Kisses
Jessica
Still my smile looks creepry
So a week has passed since my trip to Mexico, and the make-up adventure.
Yes I was nervous of doing it, even since making the phone call for the appointment.
I was all nervous while doing it, and scared while being outside on the street.
But at the same time I was happy, happy of having the courage to do it,
Happy to try on all those clothes, the different styles.
Happy to being able to go out to the street, even if it was with company and too little short time.
Now my worry, is that I might want to do it again. (which seems a lot probable)
Kisses
Jessica
I'm exhausted
Working too much on Saturday
Then cleaning the apartment (I ended around midnight)
Sunday, wake up early and go do the shopping errands.
The result, when I finally got time to dress up and took pics.
The very instant I started doing photos lying on the bed, I fall sleep.
Wow I certainly was tired.
Kisses
Jessica
So finally here is the last part of the chronicle.
The adventure, well more of a wait since there was nothing adventurous about it, on the Chinese food restaurant.
So we are walking when a Chinese restaurant is at sight, and they say "its here"
Horror, Oh my, the place is all lighted up, people on two of the tables by the entrance, and more people seated on the back of the place.
I almost wanted to go back running, but that meant going back alones, and that was more risky than going inside the food place.
So there I go inside the restaurant, after all it was to be a short time, since we were buying to take food home.
So the waiter arrives to give us the menus, and I quickly looking to other side.
And there I was sit, while they called people back at Blush, and decided what to order. During the waiting, the nervous feeling slowly, very slowly started to go away. Or maybe
was because I started playing with the lock of the camera bag. Good thing it didn´t break.
So the waiter arrives, and they start telling him, we are ordering this and that, and then all turn to me, and said "And you?"
And I go like "Aaa, sooome Chop Sueyyy", with mi voice all down , nervous and ugly. All the while thinking "I want to disappear". I meant if by any strange cosmic disturbance,
the waiter didn't found out about me, with the voice all illusion went away.
Then wait a little more, the bag of food arrives, we pay and go, as normal as possible.
The pic was taken there at the restaurant, and as some friend told me , I ciertanly look nervous in it.
And so ends this chronicle of the weekend adventure
Hope I didn't bore you to death, me making it a really long chronicle, jejejej
Kisses
Jessica
So after the pics outside on the street, I went back to the safety of a closed place.
I sit down, and try to be calm again.
i did another look change, actually only the skirt, and ut my own wig.
The people there at blush invited me to play domino.
I was there playing, when some of them were going out to buy something for dinner. Being that my only chance to go out as girl, I asked them to go with them.
They say, "sure", and there i go, out to the street.
But as soon as we go out, Horror, the shoe heels where making lots of noise, I almost felt like people would hear them from kilometers away (I know, I tend to exaggerate"
On the way t the food place we crossed several people, but I being all scared, as soon as I saw a person, i look to the other way,, so I never really noticed people reactions. But no one said anything, so my guess is that things went as good as possible.
Of course it was a great feeling, finally being able to be out, on the street dressed up as girl.
We arrived to the food place, and I'm like "I want to go back", of course would have been a bad choice to return all alone.
What happened inside, is long enough for another post, so later I wrote.
On the way back, we crossed more people, but I was a little more calmed.
And here, is the pic, of Jessica on the street at night.
Later I post about the food place adventure, jejejeje.
Kisses
Jessica
Since the first pic was a little too dark, I post this other one.
Also I can use as example, of why I don't smile, That smile is just creepy. Great for a horror movie character.
The first pic on the outside world
Well the pics continued, and they ask me "Don't you want to take a few pics outside".
Actually I wanted, but I was at the edge of fear, so I was like not thinking about them. So I said "Mmm, let me wait a few minutes", and then went to sit down to get some courage to do it.
So, I finally, think ok, lets try to do it after all, it might just take one or two minutes to take the pics, not going to far away from the door.
So I ask them to please take the pics outside, and we walk toward the door. and I ask the photographer, "No one is there outside, right?"
He says "No, it’s empty", so I go out, and at that moment a man goes by on riding a bicycle. Horror, at that point I wanted to run back inside. But then the man turns his head around to look at me, and I’m like "I want to disappear, please, I want to become invisible". Surely all that was at most five seconds, but to me was like being exposed a full hour.
So, after that I set myself ready for a couple of pics on the street.
I'm posting the first photo of a series of three, of Jessica at the street, on daylight (afternoon actually)
Jejejeje, I know I have made this chronicle too long and you probably bored by now. Yet still a couple more post are still to come.
Kisses
Jessica
Trying other looks
One of the good things and advantage of going there, was that I was able to try different outfits, looks, and wigs.
I tried one look with a long black wig, I did think that look fitted me. But once on the pics, I didn't liked that look.
Other one I tried, more on curiosity, was redhair look, I really didn't think that might look good on me. And to my surprise, I liked the result. So I posted the pic.
Tomorrow, I'll tell about the part of the adventure where Jessica appears on pics, on the street, outside in the world.
Kisses
Jessica
I continue with part three of the chronicle.
After the pics on the formal dress, went to change clothes again.
And to take a few more pics. And that outfit looks casual yet fancy to take a few pics at the little garden.
So, to the garden area, and to pose for more pics.
It was great to be dressed as girl, between trees, outside of walls. I was all excited.
I really like the looks of the outfit of the pic.
I will continue with the rest of my adventure, and a change of look.
Kisses
Jessica
Well to continue the chronicle
So I stand up, and walk toward the wall with the full size mirror.
I´m like "No way, I do look completely different", the eyebrows all slim, the eyes look like different shape.
So I´m there looking myself when someone says, "well can we start the pics" and gives me a little book with magazine pages, with poses I might try for the pics.
And then goes like, seat here, put your hand like the girl in this pics, now move your feet a few centimeters front, lets rearrange the wig, and clash-clash, a couple of pics taken.
Now lets try another angle, and clash-clash another pic. Now lets try this new pose.
And while the pics are being taken, someone enters, but I can't see who.
Then the photographer says, "This kind of pics, look better in a long dress, why don't you go change"
I am like, "yeah, cool, that way I can try different styles"
I choose a dress and walk to the changing area, passing by I can see they are doing make-up on the other person.
As I enter the dressing area, there is someone changing there, "Upps, I went red of embarrassment" I waited for her to finish, and went in to change.
And photo session continued
Here a pic in a more formal dress.
Kind of dress I might never got opportunity to dress.
It will continue soon
Kisses
Jessica
Well, here is the chronicle of this weekend adventure.
I was there at the hotel, taking outside of backpack all the boy stuff, and shaving me.
Took the prints of the map and address, and went out, walking towards Blush.
I am walking, when I turn on the street, and I saw a beauty salon, with several people inside, and I said to myself "Please, that’s not the place, that can’t be the place", probably would have walked away if it turned to be there.
So I start looking for the numbers, and found out , Blush was on a House, all closed, windows covered, you could hear music coming from inside.
And there I was, standing at the door. And I said to myself "Is either now or never" and so all nervous I move my hand towards the ringbell.
A little window at the door opens, I can barely see a face on the other side, and with difficulty I was able to say "Hi, here is blush??" (or something the like)
The door opens, and a genetic girl greeted me. I go in, as she asks me if I was going for the make-up session, if I can sit and wait while she finishes sorting some stuff.
So I sit down, all nervous, and I hear someone coming down the stairs. And is a man, and I am thinking "Oh, god, please, make me disappear", but the girl then said, "Oh, He is my husband he also dresses, you might have seen her pics at the site", then my embarrassment level went a little down
Then the ringbells sounds, It scared me. They go open, and another man goes in, and I am like "Oh no, how terrible, what am I doing", and he sits in one of the couches, and I panic.
Then someone asked him, if it was the first time he is going for the makeup thing, panic remained but embarrassment went a little down.
So then the girl said, "come here and pic, some clothes to dress to get you make-up after that", So all nervous I go, and try to pic something that looks like would fit me and kind of simple.
So they told me, "get dressed, so we can start the makeup"
So I did, and while I was sitting down at makeup chair, I was so nervous and shaky, that the girl had to told me to relax.
And she was doing makeup on me, when I heard the door opens, and voices and I’m thinking "Oh no, more people, the horror"
The girl continued to apply make-up, now put the base, now close your eyes, now apply lip-gloss, and I with my nerves about to explode.
Suddenly, the girl said "Hey, I need a wig for Jessica, which color you think" and someone answers "Try with this one, kind of blonde", and she fits it and brush it.
Then she puts a mirror.
And as I see I’m like "Oh god, Wooow, I look like completely different, is that really me??"
Here is one of the first pics, with the look after the makeup.
Rest of the chronicle, in next days. jejej, trying to add a little suspense.
Kisses
Jessica
Last post sounded really bad, guess my paranoia was too high when I wrote it.
I was talking about what I did this weekend
I’ll write a very detailed chronicle, but in the meantime
I went to a make-up and photo session at a place called Blush
And went for a little walk on the street as girl.
Here is a little pic, of the makeup session
With a blonde look.
Kisses
A paranoid and scared Jessica
Stop me please
I must be the most stupid , crazy and stupid person in the world
What was I thinking?
Why did I did it?
How on earth did I became so stupid? so careless?
Please, please, help me.
Please stop me, before I ruin my life
By all means necessary stop me.
Also I discovered that I can be really coward. I got scared so easilly.
Stop Me, Please
Paranoid and scared Jessica
P.S.
About the pic.
Those are new shoes I bought
But I don't know how to keep the straps in place. they tend to get loose and fall.
Any tips or advice??
Ouch, got sun burns on the back. Its starting to hurt. I just hope, the burnt skin disappears before my next travel, would be really bad, to take pics, with burned shoulders. Or even worst, not to take pics.
