Two Paths

Two Paths

Its always scary when there are two paths ahead.
Which one to choose.
Specially when both are so appealing.

decision, its a scary time.

Kisses

Green Girl Jessica

Where does it say that I can't be crying and smiling together???

Who decided that sad and happy are opposites??

I just need to repeat.
Dreaming awake does not makes me a crazy person,

Just me

Solo yo

Se que está ahí, pero no puedo sentirle
le escucho, pero solo en mi mente
un placer y un tormento al mismo tiempo.

Sueño del que no quisiera despertar,
pesadilla que disfruto aun con temor,
éxtasis y dolor en uno mismo.

Latiendo muy lentamente, durmiendo muy dentro de mi
sé que ahí se encuentra, y a la vez le he perdido
alegrías y miserias juntas.

Un llanto que se convierte en sonrisas,
una risa que se transforma en lagrimas
ambos y ninguno a la vez.

Besos
Jessica

Just me

I know it's there, but I can't sense it
I hear it, but it's just in my mind
pleasure and torment at the same time.

Sweet dream from which I want to never wake up,
nightmare that I enjoy in fear,
ecstasy and pain in one self.

Beating slowly, sleeping deep inside me
I know it's here, and at the same time I lost it
happiness and misery together.

A cry that becomes a smile,
a laughter that becomes a tear
both and none at once.


Kisses
Jessica

Some thinking.

Some thinking.

Time to do a bit of thinking about this new experience, going to a restaurant and walking downton of Merida as a girl.
Yes I was ultra nervous, a bit scared, but I enjoyed it, I liked doing it, it felt great.
It helped a lot that I was not alone, let me enjoy it a bit more, since I had to worry a bit less.
Also I think it was important that the clothes I used didn't draw that much attention. And I do like the way longer skirts look, even if don't show that much leg.
Being this an afternoon that went without trouble, gives me hope that I can do it again sometime in the future.
And next times try better to go with someone, instead of alone.
I am still a bit scared of the use of very little make-up, me feels it doesn't cover that much.
About being nervous, I suppose that as I go outside as girl more times, I will get less nervous.
Thats what happened with my night drives, and my dancing outs, first times I was too scared to really enjoy them. Now I am still a bit little nervous (which I think is good to remeber to be cautious to be safe), but I can enjoy it now.
One thing I have to work out is the voice, and I don't know how.

A big thank you hug and kiss to my friend Fernanda who went out with me in this adventure.

Kisses
Jessica

I love doing Paper planes

When I was just a little kid, I loved to do paper figures.
I liked doing paper boats when it rained, one of the streets by the house caught quite some water when rainning, which formed like a little river for my paper boats.
I also loved doing paper airplanes, became quite good in them, could do one to fly long distance, ones to aim a spot, one to fly for long times (but short distance).
Doing paper planes put me in trouble at school one day, but it was worth it, it was fun what I did.

Being grounded this weekend, used the time to do some planes at home, at play with them, It as fun as I remember.

Kisses
Paper Jessica

PS. Mmm, looking at the image, looks like every photo to the right I am showing more skin and less clothes. Good thing there is no fourth picture, Or is it???

Maybe, just maybe

Maybe, just maybe

Is it reality what my eyes see in the mirror
or maybe is just my brain being confused by my desires.

Is it the feeling I have the true
or is it maybe a result of my confussion

Is it a reason to be happy
or maybe just a placebo that puts a little joy.





Kisses

Jessica
The silliest girl

Sometimes I wonder

AS of today I have never really put to tought about Jessica in the long term times.
Yes I had those plans as for 2007, for thats as far as it goes.
And by next year if Jessica still exist it would be probably the same.

But, should I be doing with Jessica some long term thinking and planning?
Something like "where is Jessica in 5, 10, 20 years???", or maybe "Whats the final purpose of this girly side??"
As of now, its more exciting, more surprising just do it like this, in short terms, to see what new things, to set goals that are no too far in time.

But if the boy side, has those long term plans and dreams, shouldn't Jessica have her owns, or have some that both sides share. Yet I don't put myself into really thinking about that.

Perhaps I am too scared of what I would thought.


Kisses
Jessica