Some thinking.

Some thinking.

Time to do a bit of thinking about this new experience, going to a restaurant and walking downton of Merida as a girl.
Yes I was ultra nervous, a bit scared, but I enjoyed it, I liked doing it, it felt great.
It helped a lot that I was not alone, let me enjoy it a bit more, since I had to worry a bit less.
Also I think it was important that the clothes I used didn't draw that much attention. And I do like the way longer skirts look, even if don't show that much leg.
Being this an afternoon that went without trouble, gives me hope that I can do it again sometime in the future.
And next times try better to go with someone, instead of alone.
I am still a bit scared of the use of very little make-up, me feels it doesn't cover that much.
About being nervous, I suppose that as I go outside as girl more times, I will get less nervous.
Thats what happened with my night drives, and my dancing outs, first times I was too scared to really enjoy them. Now I am still a bit little nervous (which I think is good to remeber to be cautious to be safe), but I can enjoy it now.
One thing I have to work out is the voice, and I don't know how.

A big thank you hug and kiss to my friend Fernanda who went out with me in this adventure.

Kisses
Jessica

Walking around downtown Merida

After going out of the restaurant I was back inside my friend car. And then a question "Would you like going to downtown???"
In my mind the following thought happened : Should I risk myself more outside to being spotted, should I go to a place I know is full of people, that even at late night is fully lighted. The idea of walking among all those people seemed scary.
But then, it was a golden opportunity to walk around girl mode, and with someone walking next to me. Plus I have already been in a crowded place (remember Campeche downtown) and that time I was alone. So no reason to not going.
I said "Yes, of course", and there we went.

Indeed downtown was crowded with people, and cops and soldiers.
In a way lots of cops, means a bit of safety, not likely someone would do something agressive.
But due to the circumstances also bit of risky, what if they were more paranoid than me, and saw suspicious behavior in that nervous girl who looked too tall and a bit boyish.

We walked around downtown, just a few blocks from where my friend parked. Stopping from time to time to take a picture.
Didn't notice any reaction, yet it is difficult to notice reactions in just the 2 seconds one face the person walking next to, probably people didn't even got time to get a good look when I walked next to them.
There was one point at the main park, my friend was leading me to a building for a picture, thing was, on the way to there, there was a group of like 15 boys and girls in school uniforms, around 15-16 years old.
Those are the scary ones, those are the ones that would not stop from laughing or mocking. We passed next to them, and nothing, no reaction.

Then first little problematic thing, walking round in a city with hot and humid weather (and after rain), with long sleeved blouse, and a wig over my head, well, you know.
My friend suggested I removed the blouse, and silly Jessica, first forgot to undo the buttons on the sleeve, so not easy to pass my hands out, quite an spectacle the way I removed the blouse. Also as my friend said later to me, the way I removed it, not ladylike at all, completely boyish.
we continued walking around, then back to my friend's car, it was time to take me back to my hotel.

Kisses
Jessica

Outside during daylight

Just a little warning, maybe no need for it, since you probably know how I like to write about my adventures for long and long, cut into several pieces each long on its own.
And this won't be different. So be prepared to read, jejejeje. Now to my storytelling.

Saturday morning I jump in the car, driving around, the jungle to my right, the sea to my left, the road to Merida to the front. Just a little stop to go by Campeche to pick up my partner in dance Vannessa.
Arriving to Merida, oh the scary part, the city is full of military vehicles, soldiers, federal agents, police cars, and lots of security people. Apparently some president from some country was visiting the city.
Panic time??? Not really, I was already there, so just needed to be little more cautious and less nervous. The plan to have a nice and fun time girl mode was going to be, no matter what or who. Jejej, Me sounds so brave on that last sentence, but in reality I was a bit scared.
So after a little worry because of the rain in the cty, and getting something to eat, finding a hotel to stay, it was time for Jessica to appear and get all ready to go out.

On advice to my friend Fernanda, who was going to go out with me during the afternoon, I was to wear long skirt, light colors, a more natural "not so heavy" makeup, trying to look the more natural I could. So the option was the green-blue outfit.
First scary part, how to do my make-up light, not so flashy. I tried to go easy on tthe make-up base, use light color on lip and eyes, when finished I felt like it was not enough, that I needed more to hide myself, but left it as it was.
Then my friend arrived, a few test to see how I walked, how I sit, how I talk, to tell my friend Vanessa (who was not going) I was already going out, and there outside to real world, to walk among the humans.
And at a time where there was still sunlight (yesterdays pic), well sunlight didn't kill me, so a vampire I am not. Of course all nervous, I was there to be seen by the people of Merida, witouth the safe of darkness.
Then up to my friend car, a little rest, a little hidding, and going into a coffee place, to have a nice chat. First place, mm it was closed, surrounded by soldiers. So to a ddiferent one we went.

And there in the parking lot, the last moment of safety, it was time to go down the car, to walk into a new experience, to face the real people.
Would I be able to?? Or would I show up all shaking in nervousness, o even worst faint of panic.
Would I pass as a girl?? Would they notice something weird without knowing what it was ??? Or would the people realize the truth under that appereance???
And if they notice, what would be their reaction??? Would they laugh at me?? Would they deny us to go in??? would they say something?? would they just ignore the fact and treat me like another costumer???

All those doubt, should I really go down the car and face all those posibilities????

Bye for today

Kisses
Jessica, panic girl.

Chair playing

When I was a little kid, my dad workplace office was near my school (actually thats why they sent me to that school)
Well sometimes after school, I had to go to his office, so the two went back home once he finished work.
One of the things I rmember from there, was his chair. A chair with wheels, yupiiiii.
Altough very rarely I could play with the chair, since he used it. The few little times I was able to, I really enjoyed it.
It was really fun, to sit there, and go back and forth. and to spin, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!.

Now I have my chair with wheels and spin capability, so I can have my chair fun, whenever I want, :D

To celebrate, lets put a few pics with my super chair.
Jejejejejeje

Kisses
Jessica

Maybe, just maybe

Maybe, just maybe

Is it reality what my eyes see in the mirror
or maybe is just my brain being confused by my desires.

Is it the feeling I have the true
or is it maybe a result of my confussion

Is it a reason to be happy
or maybe just a placebo that puts a little joy.





Kisses

Jessica
The silliest girl