They are coming, and I am scared.

The pic above is from a really nice tradition of my hometown. On easter time, very religious stuff.
Lots of tourist and locals really enjoy watching this.

But there is another side of the story here. The part when I see them coming, and I got really scared.

Why?? Well when you grow up hearing stories of the bible of an angry God, the one who killed innocent kids, the one who sent his son to suffer and die. But above all , the God that is looking everything you do in everysecond in your life, to record every sin, every bad tought, every bad behaivior, so by the time you die, He has all the necesary info to deny you the entrance to heaven, and sent you to eternal pain and suffering in Hell. You end up a really scared kid.
And then you see this, People walking in complete silence, while covering their faces, whit chains at theirs feet, or hitting themselves at the back with whips, or carrying those really heavy religious figures. Your fear grows.
Next you hear your family tell you, "Don't do that, God is seeing you" or "Bad kid, God will punish you".
Or at the church, the priest always saying "Be affraid of God's wrath".
I still can't beleive I made it trough life, with all those scary stuff being told to me almost every day.

And then people ask me why I like horror movies so much. Why I am not scared of such horrible monsters.
Well it's really simple, How can you be scared of a vampire, a werewolf , a zombie, when you compare them to God´s wrath and an eternity in Hell with pain and suffering.

Bah, they do not look that scary, plus you can kill those monsters with human means (a silver bullet, holy water, etc), while on the other hand scaping from God, thats impossible, or so I was taught.

Fortunately for me, with time I started thinking different.
Yet sometimes I got scared. What if they find Jessica´s real identity, Will they come to take me apart from the ones I love, to excommunicate me from church, to condemn me for eternal suffering.
Such are my nightmares, and the images are like the pic and worst.

I better stop, for sure you are bored by now, and if I continue writting I might cry.

Scared
Jessica