Doing more crazy things

Ok, definitively, this thing of hiding Jessica for long periods of time is no good.
I must have some kind of psychological disease, that has as simptom a self-destrutive threat or something like that.
Because I continue to do crazy, stupid, risky things, no matter what.
This thing of letting Jessica live, is so risky, I can't beleive I did what I did.

Anyway, here is the recollection of things that happened, Photo is look I went with that day, me inside hotel minutes before goin out.

So made plan with couple of friends, to go to Campeche again, and go out dancing that night.
As I don't like driving on the highway s when late, I hit the road midday, so by 5 afternoon, I was already in the city, heading towards hotel to get myself a room.
Too early to dress up in girl mode, guess I could have gone and spent a nice time walking around the city as boy, but like I had just done that a few weeks ago. Plus I wanted to take my time into letting Jessica reappear.
So I went and do all the circus that is necessary to let Jessica appear at the mirror.

Finally after more than an hour I was there, supposedly all pretty and girly, in the hotel room, but it was like too early, around 7 afternoon.
And the voices in my head started to say "bah, silly girl, now what? just sit her, boring to death, go outside, let yourself breath", and me being so weak, slowly stood up, and started walking to the door.
All nervous check for all keys in the bag, and walked to the car, and ready to go. While going out the hotel the guard wave his hand to me, quite a normal stuff, you night said, but remember how paranoid I am, me scared that he has seen both boy and girl in the same car, and he connected the obvious.
AS I said in previos post, there is a very nice walk area next to the sea in Campeche, as I was driving aside of it, and seeing that there was just a few people over there, and most either jogging or walking around it, Might be a good place to let myself walk around. But lucky me I noticed how the trees were moving from the wind, so decided better go someplace else (didn't want to risk loosing the wig)
I headed toward downtown area, which I knew was going to be quite full of people, but a few people have told me that n a way the safest place to go out is places with lots of people, so I kept saying that to myself while driving to get there.
Parked the car, and the first strike of fear hit me, It took me like ages to finally come down of the car. And started the walk, toward my destination point. I was all nervous, but also the sound of click-clack from the low heels in the shoes, was like a mini-drum, encouraging me to keep going forward.
While walking, the first inicident ocurred, as I turned around one corner, I almost crash to a man, Had to do one crazy movement to avoid colission, but for a few seconds we were face-to-face. I did notice how he turned around to get a complete look at me from behind.
And just before arriving to the main plaza, another thing to add more fear, there were this 3 people walking toward me, one a lady around her 50s, well from the moment I saw her, I noticed she was looking directly to me, as we crossed, she move her head looking directly to me, with this intense look, and even a few steps ahead I looked back, and saw her looking to me.
For a second I tought "thats it, she discovered me, if she was able to see the truth of my girl outfit, I'm lost, better go back, run away, hide till the time to go dancing", She really scared me, but I was just a few steps from the plaza, So I closed my eyes, take a deep breath, and as I opened my eyes again I started walking.

wow, been writting quite some-lines, better stop here, and continue with wath happened at the plaza tomorrow.

Bye for now
A freaked out paranoid Jessica