Killer Fear
If fear is named as one of our survival mechanism, then why are there people that die of fear????
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Killer Fear
Killer Fear
If fear is named as one of our survival mechanism, then why are there people that die of fear????
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tower of words
Tower of words
I remember when I was a kid there was this song
Original in spanish at the end
On the book you will find
the treasure of knowledge
that will belong to you
if you learn to read
For are letters the secret code
that to new world would let you go in
there is fat letters
another thin
long, big, small,
with curves
or straight
I love reading, and indeed books are keys to different worlds.
Kisses
Jessica
En los libros hallarás
el Tesoro del Saber
para ti todo será
si aprendes a leer
Pues son las letras, la clave secreta
que a mundos nuevos te dejan entrar
hay letras gordas
otras flaquitas
o alargaditas, grandotas, chiquitas
que tienen tres curvas
o son derechitas
tambien ......... ponerlas
unas con otras
parecen notas de una canción.
Cybernetic Potato chips
Cybernetic Potato chips
Electronics have become so common, that they are now even into our food.
Material for Nightmare
Material for Nightmare
Why do we have nightmares??
I don't remember my first nightmare, but I do remember of the first one the one that caused me the most scary feelings (and also a bit of happiness)
I was when I saw the movie "American Werewolf in London" when I was just a kid. The sight of the dead friend and the wolf transformation was just too much for my little mind that of course I had terrible nightmares that night.
But, I didn't learn from that, for that actually caused me to like horror movies. And of course several of them caused me a few more nightmares.
But, what are the ingredients to have a nightmare??.
- See horror movies, they don't work as good as before, but still there are a few lucky ones that put me in a not so easy to sleep state.
- Eat too much at dinner time, yes grandma was right eating too much do causes nightmares. Also that makes me fat.
- See a photo of Jessica, that surely causes nightmares.
- Swimming, and I love to swim, usually after swimming especially at the sea, the body kind of still has that sensation of water movement, even went laying at bed one feels like floating and it is nice, except for the couple of time that one has sea related nightmares.
- To have a discussion, guess those psychopaths will tell its because of the stress and loose feelings one has after arguing that the subconscious don't let you sleep happily.
- Having big fur toys, or chairs that look like monsters, or lamp that make funny shadows.
And for sure there are more ingredients to nightmare, but I can think of them now.
so what causes you nightmares???
Kisses
Jessica
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Without Color
Without Color
Now I made another outfit withour colors.
The gray skirt, that i still don't know if it is a skirt.
Matched with the black blouse that shows cleavage.
Dotted stockings.
The black shoes with a little fur-lik thingy.
My hair all flat.
The make-up all basic, almost non-existent.
This weekend I stayed to do a bit of cleaning at the apartment and sort a few things.
Sunday the weather was too hot, that I decided to better stay all day at home.
I saw a movie called Paprika en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paprika_(2006_film)
Its about the world of dreams. Kind of
Humans invented a think called Minidigital,, that allows people to see other people's dreams
There is also a girl called Paprika, the side on the dream world of one of the scientist working with the dreams.
Then someone stole some of the equipment, and start to mess with peoples dreams, to the point when suddenly the dreams start to mix with reality.
The story is interesting but not a big thing.
But visually the movie is fantastic, especially the parts that happens in dreams, specially the parade with all the dolls, stuffed bears, walking electric appliances, and dreamy thing.
Also the character that is against the minidigital project raises an interesting question. Is it ok to enter and see other people's dreams????.
Kisses
Jessica
Friday, July 25, 2008
Orange Friday
Orange Friday
Its friday again, Another weekend starts, mmm, what crazy things would the girl do.
Enjoy the weekend.
Kisses
Jessica
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Blue Cleavage
Blue Cleavage
Thats my messy hair , my weird nose , my new blue blouse that shows cleaveage
At my friends house
At my friends house
Here at my friends house before we went dancing.
Thats the photo that best shows how I tried to style my hair, with a tail in the back, and with a bit of hair hanging on the face. Of course since I have no hairstyling skills, it just looks like a total disaster.
Greetings
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Lighted
Lighted
Here at my return from a dance night, Let my hair loose when returning to the hotel. A photo coming out of the elevator.
The other movie I saw the weekend was Batman.
So be warned, there is a possibility of SPOILERS in this post.
I'll try to avoid putting them just in case you haven't seen it and still decide to read.
I liked the movie, definitively of the movies so far I have seen is the best.
I like how the Batman character is becoming more twisted, facing more dilemmas and unlike the previous movie without that black-white false morality, this time the movie does shoes decisions can be gray.
I loved the Joker, I don't know if that is how the Joker is (isn't by his name supposed that he does jokes and fun, he is more like a clown), but I liked the psychopath side of him, that was perfectly acted. Also liked that they didn't put a little story of his origin, or who he is, or whatever, that makes him more scary.
I didn't like that Two faces dies three minutes after appearing on screen, I think its a villain that was good enough for a whole movie, anyways, and I loved the CGI of the half face, totally gore.
Gotham city walls must be made of a really soft material, thousand of hits against the walls, and the joker didn't got a skin cut, a bleeding, even a purple area.
Oh, and the Joker dresses up as a female Nurse, I would have never thought The Joker is a transvestite. He finally came out of the closet, we will have to wait to see if Batman follows his example (maybe he is watching for Robin to be on the movie too).
At the end, this one was a good movie, I do recommend you go see it.
Kisses
Jessica
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
R-U-Japy
R-U-Japy
Happy face made of metal things, fits perfect to my movie review.
This weekend I saw Wall-e
I loved the movie, the wall-e robot all working, and his way of collecting and saving things.
And he has a cockroach as pet.
And the slim-clean design of Eve.
That they don't talk with voices, just made sounds (except for their names, and a few words)
All the funny moments.
The excitement of the captain when he learns about how things were on Earth.
And that the movie almost made me cry.
Fantastic, Pixar again made a movie deserving a 10.
Kisses
Jessica
Gullible dreamer
Gullible dreamer
I am at the same time a lie and a truth
a monster and a princess
a weird-freak and a normal person
an illusion and a silly gullible dreamer.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Standing
Standing
A bit blurry, and actually I got one not that blurry, but I liked this one better, for it seems like if they were vibrating. It makes it look more weird.
Discogirl
Discogirl
Saturday I got a chance to escape to go out dancing.
Now, since we arrived like super early to the dance place, I was able to take a photo there (for in theory is not allowed to do so)
Also this time, I went with most of my hair tied in a pony tail on the back, only a few hairs loose at front.
Good night of chat and dance.
On other weekend activities I saw the movies Wall-e and Batman, I'll give my opinions on the following days.
Kisses
Jessica
Friday, July 18, 2008
5 nice-fun ways to die
5 nice-fun ways to die
Reading yesterday I found that indeed historically there have been people that have died of laughter.
Actually they die of asfixation, not being able to breath properly, but the cause for that is such uncontrollable laughter.
And there goes fun way to die number 1.
That made me remember how some time ago, a person died for playing videogames, for playing several days without stop, He died of starvation, since he didn0t even stop to eat. But I guess he died having fun and all while playing. Second form.
Third, well don't know if it have actually happened, but sure there been a lot of jokes about that, of the person who died having sex, a friend of mine doctor once told, that if that happened would have been of heart problems, due to the physcal effort done while performing sex. An although one would not be dying of pleasure (actually I think is actually painful to have a heart attack) well at least before the heart problem one would have been having pleasure.
For the gluttony people (like me, that love to eat a lot), another fun way to die, would be to eat till death, the cause would probably be a heart attack or digestive problem, and I am sure thats no fun, but to eat a lot of delicious food and cakes till one explodes, mmm, yummi.
And fifth one, mm, maybe not that fun, but I would go, die while sleeping, dreaming, no pains or anything, and sleeping is a good and fun and happy thing to do (unless one has insomnia or sleep disorder). Now if sleeping doesn't sound like fun to you (it is to me, I love sleeping), well pick your hobby or thing you love for fun, and imagine death by that.
At least on those 5 ways, one could say that one had a happy fun death.
Dots
Dots
I liked the dotted stockings
I still need to get myself a dotted dress (polka dress I think is called in english) but haven't fonud one on a style and size for me.
Another weekend arrived,time to get some rest.
Kisses
Jessica
Thursday, July 17, 2008
They pass by without passing
They pass by without passing
Sitting on a bench she observes all the people that walk by the park, watching every detail, every color.
Her mind start to classify them, the ones wearing red clothes against the ones not, the girls with earrings and those without them, men with mustache and those who shave it.
The pass, and pass, her eyes watching them, her mind recording and cataloging them.
But even so, three seconds later they would have disappeared, they would have become one more number in her mental note about how many girls wear a skirt against the ones with trousers, or how many kids carried backpacks against those taking lunchbags.
Minutes later she will forgot then, her mind will remember that 3 girls have passed carrying a stuffed doll, but she would not remember of what animal. She will remember that 7 gentleman with a hat had walked by, 3 of them on a suit, buts thats as much detail.
She would have forgot that from the girls in a blue dress, one carried a purse with figures, and another one had a rose on her hands. Or that form the 4 kids with ice cream one was carrying a ball, and another have his socks one different color each.
And an hour later she would even have forgotten how that boy dressed in women clothes looked like, even after it caught her attention for being so weird.
But after all, so many people pass, and pass, and pass by. So many, that at the end they pass by without passing.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Coquito 03
Coquito 03
Coquito, here showing that she not only has a pretty face and smile, she also has fantastilicious legs.
Comparison
Comparison
One with my natural hair, other with wig.
But my hair didn't got the time to properly dry, so it looks a little flat. But one good thing is that its almost as long as the wig, on a darker color.
About the dress I liked the patter-colors of the fabric, but the style of the dress kind of makes me look without any figure.
Kisses
Jessica
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Coquito 02
Coquito 02
Here Coquito, greeting us with a smile, just before she entered the photo stand, for the new Hugo Roach campaign.
Killing time
Killing time
In an Answer
- What you doing??
- Here just Killing time.
In a kids joke
- You know our lazy neighbor, he got arrested.
- What for??
- For being a killer
- A killer, how, who did he killed???
- Because he was just killing time.
On mythology
If I remember correctly what they taught me at school, Zeus, to become king of the gods, had to kill his father, Kronos, the god of time.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Standing
Standing
There is a chapter, first ones in "Full Metal Alchemist", when Ed and Al defeat the Leto priest, there Rose after seeing her reason for living has gone, goes angry at Ed, and cries, begs, for him to tell her "What sould I do with my life now"
He answers, in a very dry way "Thats up to you to decide, first stand up and walk, after all, you have perfect legs to stand on"
And sometimes that needs to be done, even if one has not fallen, even if one is all comfortable sitting, to stand up, and a start a walk ahead, even without knowing if what lies ahead is better or worse, different or the same.
The iportant thing after all, is to stand up and give that first step.
Kisses
Jessica
Ps, been a while since last time I used those shoes, and with how pretty they are.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Days to cry
Days to cry
Movies that have made me cry.
- Yes I was one of the kids that cried with "Bambie"
- Also cried with "ET" as kid, now I found it boring, so boring it almost makes me cry out of boredom.
- "Lilo y Stitch" have made me laugh a thousand times (Oh , how I love that movie) but in two times hade caused me tears (when gumba takes Lilo, and stictch says Ohana)
- "Simon Birch" , how not to fall in love with the little kid, and then cry when he.
- Also "Left Luggage", like Simon, but with a deeper meaning and intensity.
Books that made me cry
- Marianela, thats a really sad book
- 100 años de soledad, there were several parts that gave me tears but also lots that made me laugh
-Cujo, in theory a horror book, but to me it was so sad how the dog became a monster.
I am sure there are more, but I dont remember now.
Kisses and tears.
Jessica
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Hair Sticks
Hair Sticks
Those are hair sticks.
Mmm, maybe when my hair grows more, and I learn how to use them, I would made an experiment to style my hair with them, in the meantime I can play with them, carefully, for they are pretty.
Dots
Dots
I liked how the photo looks like that with dots.
I have read (even when the new is a few days old) that Blizzard have announced that they are making Diablo III (3) www.blizzard.com/diablo3/
Yupiiiii.
Both previous versions of the game where guilty of making me be in front of a computer screeen playing.
And probably this one will do the same, if by the time it comes out I amstill among the living humans.
Maybe, for its been a while since the last time I played any computer game ( there really is no game that caught my eye enough to even try)
Kisses
Jessica
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Ending
Ending
Why do tales end with "And they lived happilly forever" (I know, is more comon to see "everafter" but then my question is more that in spanish is put as forever like in eternity)
when the ending should have been "and they lived happily, till the day they died"
Why???
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Yarn
Yarn
From the moment Matilde came down of the taxicar she realized she had been there before, the swing was there, and the garden gnome that she remembered a few days ago. Once at the door, a decoration over the mailbox caught her eye, a little fairy holding a piece of gear machinery. One thing not easily associated with faeries.
When trying to open the door, the key started to turn, but at the middle it stopped -- mm, such a trip and for nothing. Making a last attempt she again saw the fairy, and noticed the gear was missing one part, that brought the memory of the day Arita taught her to open the door "it has a trick, you have to take the key away a little bit before it stuck, I think the lock is missing a piece" and like that Matilde did as in her memory and the door was open
To see the inside of a house she had forgotten but that immediately she began to remember was weird, to see that chair so strange but that just a second later was telling her of the time she took photos there wearing a pretty green floral dress, or the table center with two angels that looked so intriguing, but that at the same time brought images of a dinner and a man with beard, ah doctor Algeno was his name, giving the tow angels to Arita as a present.
And while she looked every detail of the house that seemed new, unknown or interesting, her mind almost instantly brought a memory related to it. Why did it seem as if she had forgotten everything?? Why was she able to remember so easily with just looking???
Some noise finally brought her out of her thinking and memories, and she made the last step into the house. While she closed the door she was thinking if it was a good idea to go look the rest of the house or left that for another moment when she was able to get all those new and forgotten memories. Better to start looking for the second letter. Watching the windows on the living room, she looked for the little table under it, she sow two, but no red basket with yarn, or a basket empty at all. A couple of times she looked around and couldn't find it, it was a sign that she would end up looking all around the house.
Falling into a sofa, her mind was battling between trying to remember more of the window, basket and cat, or to accept that perhaps the memory was not that true. After a few minutes unable to remember more she decided that she would have to go around the house while playing with that rounded object in her hands.
Entering the kitchen the oven made her remember of the day she helped Arita to make cookies, and the blue fry-pan of the time she first saw how fried fish is made, or the letters at he fridge that she used to play words and rimes, but nothing of a cat or a basket. At the study room, a table would paint on her memory the many days she spent drawing things, the bookshelf still had those books with tales that Arita and mom use to tell her, the mirror n which one time she dreamed herself as a reflection of a princess, now showing her while playing with a ball of yarn, that sculpted head of Aristotle that freaked her so many time when she....
- Hey, where did I got that ball of yarn - Matilde asked herself - But I have had it on my hand since I stood up.
She hurried to the sofa, and next to it there was the red basket. Why did she ignore it in her first look around???
And there under all the yarn, was a second letter.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Jessica on the Subway
Jessica on the Subway
Mi first parade, final chronicle
And so at the Zocalo, between looking the arrival of the other groups-cars, and taking pics here and there the parade came to an end. Just the walking part for the event was to continue.
Mariana very kindly waited with me while I was going here and there to take photos, until the clock told her it was her time to leave.
While being there we found a couple of the TvMex girls, that told us that the rest were either somewhere on the zocalo, or have already gone back.
And since my feet were already in Pain, and Mariana was going in the same direction as myself, I decided to go with her, and venture to take a ride on the subway in girl mode.
Mexico City subway its always an adventure on itself, and now I was going to go girl mode, But I was scared of it a bit, for the subway sometimes goes way to full with people, believe its horrible when it goes like that, had it been the case I would have opted to not go. But it went more normal, even part of the trip I went on a seat.
From there we arrived to Insurgentes station, Mariana walked to where she parked, and me back to the hotel to rest a little.
And so it ended my part on the LGBT parade.
Final thoughts.
After the parade, and putting my pics here, a couple of friends asked me things, a couple of question made me think a bit more than others, and so here are my answers, thoughts.
Question 1
Beside the nice moment, the fun, the thrill, does being at the parade left you something as Jessica, as a person??
Yes, its understandable that from the photos and chronicle, that it was mostly joy, emotion, nervousness, fun what went there.
But there was also a part of learning and growing by deciding to do something like it.
For Jessica I think it helped to grow a sense of friendship with some of the girls that walked with me, I sincerely think that to be part of it and share the thrill of it does create a sense of unity with those that participate with you.
As person, first I think that help in decreasing fears, for instance at a start one of my biggest fears of doing it were "what if someone sees me here" but as you walk, and with so many people both walking and seeing, it kind of looses importance to fear that. And yes one could argue that the effect of not fearing that its just for that time, that it will come back, and yes after the euphoria of doing it passes , it slowly returns, it does not fully returns, the level of fear indeed decreases in the long run, and less fear is a way of growing.
Another is self confidence, and it was more for what happened before and after walking, and yes a friend that told me that because of what day and the areas I went, it was expected to get lees weird looks, still not having one does increases that confidence to continue to go out.
Question 2
And did you achieve something by being part of it?? Or do you think something good is achieved of the parade existing??
That me going achieved something not for me, on itself maybe not, but after all some events that look for visibility are effective by the number of participants, and you can say, one more or one less would not be that different (with exceptions), well it is the add of all those one that make it as big as it get, so yes I did achieve increasing how many participated.
On another side I would like to think that those few people that decided to go out of the sideline to say "Hey you look really nice", or "I like your dress, where did you bought it", or just made a supporting smile, take with then a different impression (a good one) of what is like to be a tgirl, but I do concede what my friend said, perhaps they already had one.
Same things as with the photos, More photos were taken (that I noticed) than the ones I took, and yes I do saw that many of the people that took the photo did took it out of morbidity, or to have a pic to say "look from the parade, how could one be or go like that", but there were also the ones that took the photo from a different perspective, from the ones that "I want a photo of someone else that was part of the parade like me", or "This could turn into a nice photo (without regards of who the subject of the photo was)", or even as one person said to me after a photo "Its just that your image is so different, not like some others" (me thinks good image)
And as for what does the parade achieves in general, to star visibility, to tell people that there are people that are living in an specific way, hat are not that afraid (as to be part of it) of being them, that are capable of standing to be themselves.
Another friend who asked it, told me that the way some of the participants dressed or acted achieved more in creating a negative image than any other good thing. Reality is that comparing the outfits and attitudes with the carnival here, I really don’t see much difference. Yes there are exceptions to it, and yes some outfits or attitudes go way too much, definitively looking to defy, challenge or even disturb and alter the observer, but the most of them are not. And it is a thing that depends on the observer, to decide which part he gives more weight, that few ones that went on the wrong side or the most of them that put cheers, talent and imagination (and lots of costumes-outfit needs lot of it).
Kisses
Jessica
Jessica and the Fairies
Jessica and the Fairies
And of course, had to take a photo with them, and also that way one can see the whole costume.
Fairies
Fairies
The costumes of those 2 girls looked incredible, left me totally impressed, a great work
Jessica and Miss Piggie
Jessica and Miss Piggie
Even the Muppets where on Parade.
Here with the beautiful Miss Piggie
Jessica visits Wonderland
Jessica visits Wonderland
Totally awesome the outfits of those 2 girls, One as Alice, the other as Queen of Hearts.
And of course couldn't let go the opportunity to take a photo.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Jessica at the Zocalo and 1000 posts
Jessica at the Zocalo and 1000 posts
Well turns out this photo is going with the post number 1000 (yes one thousand) on my blog. Yes I have wrote and post 1000 times over there - jessica-sweet-tv.blogspot.com
And to think that on December 29th, of 2005 I started with the blog ( jessica-sweet-tv.blogspot.com/2005/12/my-first-entry.html ) , putting just a few things, tests, and at most photos without a head.
And now, 1000 posts later, almost 3 years have gone, and here I am posting photos of Jessica, on the Zocalo as a participant of the LGBT parade.
Wow, certainly I have gone a long way on this thing of being Jessica, that even I myself can't believe it.
Now, to try to post another 1000 more.
Kisses
Jessica
1000 :P
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