Goodbye 2008

Goodbye 2008

Another year ends, and in reality that should be "no big thing", life goes on and everything, but I guess somehow humans feel better adding measures to things.
And is like common to do at the end of every period an evaluation of how life has gone by.

So how was year 2008, but for Jessica.

It was an interesting year.


This was a year of many times, as my first participation in the LGTB pride parade (I hope I can repeat it many times)
Also a first on spending more time on my trips as Jessica, not just the time of dancing or the party, but even be a full day as Jessica.
Also my first hair-do as Jessica, in a beauty salon
Even by end of year I spent Xmas as Jessica


It was a year of meeting new people, some of them becoming new friendships. Also a year that allowed me to get closer to some friends from before.

Also this year, I almost said goodbye to wearing a wig (for I did wear it a few times) and learned to feel happy and comfortable with my own long hair, even when most of the time it looks messy, in bad shape, and definitively not feminine enough.

Was a year of going out a lot as Jessica, for sure I danced lots here and there, and also over there. Even got to go to two Halloween parties as Jessica.

A tear that I grow as Jessica (and not only in size due to my two periods of getting fatter for not doing exercise) in feeling more comfortable with being this part of me, of understanding what is that makes me feel that need to sometimes dress and look as a woman.

Also going out that much helped me diminish my fear to go out as Jessica, to talk and such with other people not related to the LGBT world.

It was a good year for this side of my life, and that fortunately did manage to coexist happy with the other side that also had a good year, so 2008 was great.

Now, its just to go and live and do all in 2009, and make that even when everyone says that is going to be a problematic year, it actually becomes the other way around.

For everyone, a big hug, and my best wishes so that this year that begins tomorrow be a great year for you all.

Kisses
Jessica

Pink stockings

Pink stockings

The search of a hidden objective, a desire of something not wished, a road that doesn't lead, a light that only cast shadows.

Mushroom Soup

Mushroom Soup

Xmas as Jessica

Xmas as Jessica

Since due to work I was not able to o to my family home for Xmas, a friend invited me to go with her as Jessica, to her family dinner, turned out it was a big family dinner party, like 20-30 people, and there I was as Jessica.
At the start I do was nervous, plus not knowing anyone I felt awkward. More since talking and chatting was more on family issues that kept me away from participating. But then chat went into more general things, so I was able to participate, so after dining and talking I was less scared and so had a great night.
Next day went with my friend to a country house of another of her relatives, where I also went as Jessica, and also had a great time.

Here a photo of the second day, My hair already a mess.
I did got one photo from the party, but I didn't liked it (flash lights too white) so I will not post it.

Kisses
Jessica

Merry Xmas

Felices Fiestas - Merry Xmas

Delirio

Delirio

Lights in SLP

Lights in SLP

On this time of year the city of SLP puts the lights decoration-show.

Here is one photo of it.

Red Legs

Red Legs

At the party

At the party

Here the look I had while on the Uman Party

Kisses
Jessica

Contestants Model Uman 2008

Contestants Model Uman 2008

After my time out in downtown Merida, by the night I went out again.

A friend from Merida told me that in Uman there was going to be a contest to choose the Model Uman 2008. And so we were to look.

Here a photo of the girls that were participating.

With the Chac Mool

With the Chac Mool

Here a photo with the Chac Mool

Spheres

Spheres

As I told on the previous Photo we went to a park near by to see and photograph the Xmas decors.

Here a photo of Jessica along with some giant Xmas spheres.

Then when my friend took me back to my hotel, the man at the reception desk after seeing me he like saw me strange and asked “Excuse me, are you staying here???”

When I told him the room number and show him the key, his confusion grow, kind of understandable if in his mind he had just gave that key hours before to a person looking a bit different.

My friend then left, and a few minutes later called me, apparently the reception man was not convinced I was staying there and probably checked the name, so he decided to ask my friend for something to understand how apparently two different people were staying at the same room. My friend told me she had to said both person were just one.

I left the room 40 minutes later with a different outfit, (a shorter skirt) but the reception man didn’t said anything, later when I returned there was already another person at the desk.

Next day when leaving the room , with my initial appearance
-The reception man asked me “Hi, did another person stayed at the room??”
-I responded “no, just me”
-He says “I saw a girl coming inside last night”
-Me “yes you did, but there was no one else”

I think he finally got it, and if my friend had told him the previous day, even more, he just stayed there, like not knowing what to say, I just say “thanks and good bye” and went to my car.

Hehe hehe, second place where the different look in my persona makes the reception people think I am someone else extra.



Kisses
Jessica

Red and Gray

Red and Gray

Trying a combination of red and gray

Out in Merida

Out in Merida

Well its almost another year that ends, so I decided to go to Merida.

After arrival, and going around a bit to get a place to sleep (I forgot like last year, that around this time of the year Merida is crowded and one must reserve a place), I called my friend Fer, and agreed on a time to go have a coffee and talk, this time we went downtown where after a very short walk around, short since for reasons I cant understand I was unable to walk with those heels, yes they were tall, but strangely I have previously used them, walked, and danced with them for long without trouble. It was like if the heel got broken .

Anyways, after seeing I was not able to walk we sat down to have some coffee and cake and have a nice chat. After a while talking it was time to go, my friend suggested I waited there while she went for her car, but turned out I was able to walk normally again. As I said, strange.

From there my friend took me to a park near by to take a few more pics with the Xmas lights, that I will post too later.

Kisses
Jessica

Six hours

Six hours

Six hours had passed since he arrived to the designated window, that with a clean direct line to his target, away from any passer-by look from the street down there, that allowed him to wait seated, that didn't receive direct sunlight at any time that would allow him to hide quickly after shooting, the perfect window.

Six hours he had waited, the target, a man he never heard of, an anonymous man far away from the public eye, but still with just the enough connections among the enemy lines, with just that tiny bit of knowledge that gave him so much emotional power over them, his death that would surely pass by as anonymous as him would be enough to cause a big shake among them, to create that little crack in their lines that would suffice to let them go inside and destroy them.

Six hour to memorize every detail of the door he would later cross, a door with simple ornaments but beautiful lines, strong and delicate at the same time, one could see that the wood it was made was hard enough to even be used as shield but that the opening movement would put it behind the target becoming for him an obstacle to any escape, the light color of the door even helped to outline people even more.

Six hours in which his body got used to the position he was, for even when being seated allowed him not to get tired, the pose of being over the weapon with arms ready and fingers on the trigger for so long could complicate things, and in fact two hours ago the muscles had been so tenses that it would have slowed him down, but now his body felt so natural in that pose that would even give him an extra speed.

Six hours to learn the subtle changes in the wind to adjust the shot, to get used to the surrounding sounds of the street to even be able to foresee if a person or car was coming near.

Six hours to think, how he was now again in the need of killing, to cut the life of another human being with dreams that must be lived. To explain himself how such death was a necessity, of the benefits of him dying as opposed to all the damage that he surviving would do. To deny the evilness in such action of shooting and any good things that might lie behind not killing. To convince himself that by shooting the trigger he would not become a killer.

A weekend totally different

A weekend totally different

This weekend was a weekend that was totally different from any other.

Sure many of you will be mad at me for returning from this adventure with ZERO, yes ZERO photos. But I really thought I had forgotten the camera at home (I didn't , i did find it once back at home that it went all the way down in the backpack)

It was a different weekend, since not even in my wildest crazy thought about things to do as Jessica, I would come out with the idea of doing something like this.

The weekend I went to Villahermosa, to my friend Luisa's house, she is the person who have done my hair in my previous visits there. So I called her Thursday to see if it was ok for me to go there, and she said "Sure, even better you can come with us to a party I have"

Well turned out that the party was a wedding party, her Niece was getting married. So I ended in a wedding party as Jessica, sitting in a table with my friend's family, even saying congrats to the happy couple. And no photo, well at least I can tell you that I was wearing the blue dress in this photo flickr.com/photos/jessica_sweet_tv/2948737111/

We didn't stay at the party too long for my friend started to feel bad and we had to go back to her place.

But adventure didn't ended there, Sunday I spent part of the day as Jessica, but this time without make-up, since we were late for an appointment my friend had, she was going to do her eyes-lines, but I thought, no problem, after all I will just end inside another place, not big trouble if a couple of people see me without proper make-up. So it was only face-powder and lipstick, and cover the eyes with glasses. Not so girly, but not totally boyish.

But turned out that once the procedure ended, the girl who did it, told my friend to go buy something to the drugstore to avoid pain later, and since we were to go there she decided to go to the walmart's drugstore and also buy some other stuff. So there i ended at the Walmart, with the minimum make-up, and with 10 centimeters (like 4 inches) heels, doing shopping at what sure looked like a very crowded time. I was totally in panic inside.

Too bad I didn't had my camera with me to have photos, but for being so inusual sure those memories and how I was dressed and looked will never be out from my memories.

Kisses
Jessica

PS, The photo posted I took it yesterday night just to have a photo to go with this Jessica's adventure.

Zig-zag fate

Zig-zag fate

It was one of those strange coincidences that brought them together, She really didn't want to go to that theater play, He was supposed to be covering the sports game but the culture girl got sick, She didn't smoke but her friend was unable to walk to the store, He just wanted to be a moment away from all the whisper talk, She and her silly finger who let a few coins roll down, He and his fast feet who cut their run away. A simple look, a little electric touch passed by the coins, a smile of embarrassment mirrored. A love that appeared without being destined to be.

And other series of events also brought them apart forever. Her alarm-clock didn't work that day, He and his luck with dogs made him race his bike, She and her lack of ability to run making her trip and loose her glasses, He and the wind that make him loos his hat, She that without glasses and in a hurry got into train 5 instead of 6, He that decided to stop to buy her flowers on the other side of the train line. A hurried look while the train send them away, a missed tear both on a train and a station, and destiny that after all decided to take the initial path.

Night Bench

Night Bench

I have already been out as Jessica a few times, but to go out here in the tiny city where I live still makes me nervous and scared, mainly my paranoia.
Still last week I decided to go out as Jessica for a little time.
REason, well remember some time ago I talked about a guy who comes to town every now and then, and have invited me to meet live, and in fact after some time I went out with him before just for a chat. Well he was here in town again and invited me out.

So that day I got myself all ready with make-up and all to be on time at the meeting point, the little park near my house, and at 9:30 pm, night but still early I was there. In fact at the moment I arrived there was still too many people there, so I decided to talk while in the car, and it was a bit later that we went down to sit in one of the benches.

It was really nice to be out there, just spending a nice time chatting, little less scared of the very few people that walked by and saw me.

This time I remembered to take the camera with me, so I had a photo.

Kisses
Jessica

Car Pose

Car Pose

Here silly Jessica in a pose like if she was an auto girl, showing her knee bleeding.

Orangutan 3

Orangutan 3